Passions, Dreams, Wishes

Plan B

2012-01-23T03:27:00.002+08:00

Not the restaurant chain owned by upcoming Market named Ben's General Store. Disclaimer, a future is not something planned, its written, by the Almighty.

Some of us, like me, we have a little problem with taking orders, authority or psychologist would call Oppositional Defiant Disorder. We have been wired, been brought up forced to obey, pushed of the cliff to fly, you get me. Let me quote; Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

So lets break it down, the one who pushed you, their intentions are good, a mother, a lover, a soulmate, they would always want the best their brighter ones. They expect the worst because the world, a tortures place for those weaker souls, ready to be picked by multi million dollar companies, used as bait, slaves to the corporate puppet. So, conclusion is that maybe wanting the best is better than having nothing.

Definition of happiness, doing what ever it is that makes you happy even when its nothing, simple as that, but in the long run, the profit cows would not be coming in so repeatedly. In fact, you only have a chance in hell if they at all. Truth be told, life is something that is written, not by you, but the Almighty, and there is always a challenge to get the gold on the end of the rainbow, a catch. Like me, Oppositional Defiant Disorder, I sure do not show it, but I always dream of revolution, a chance to overthrow a perfectly corrupted system. Why? Because I do not like the fact that I have to bribe my way into the chairs of commerce.

So brick by boring brick, I find my satisfaction.

Funny thing, Baby Boo said, "you need a plan, like remember when you wanted to get to know me. You got my number, then slowly you got to know me".

Floating beats in between chapters of the heart is one thing only the soul could dissolve into answers to the biggest question I have ever asked. But like any super hero, he needs his Kriptonite to tell the origins of his belonging.

One step closer, baby steps, or giant leaps, a step backwards, its still a step forward, because like life, it always goes forward. The fine line between insanity and happiness, tested by the steering wheel, playing with the flow of others in their metal shells. Insane because you rely on others reaction, even if there isn't one. Happy because the joy of leaning left in a hard ride, merely side ways. Border between sanity, fought constantly, sought after carefully.

Sincerely.

Holiday.

2011-06-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

Ever wondered what the great holiday would be like, its the people you share it with

quote Lucky13

A holiday is a day of designated as having special significance, meaning, its a day to enjoy, relax and let the sun soak into your soul.

People would say that a good holiday would be travel the world in style and luxury, but I think the definition of a holiday has been corrupted by the media, its not the holiday to France or America and watch Broadway. I'm not saying that I would not enjoy the pleasure of sipping coffee with a croissant whilst facing the Eiffel Tower, and to top things of, a street musician playing his raw and un-tuned definition of classical music, yes, that holiday would be really classy.

I am saying is that for what its worth, I would pay any amount just to spend a day with my girlfriend, Ezza Melina, just to sip a nice warm cup of Green Tea Latte', enjoying the view and better yet, having the breeze from the clouds on a warm afternoon, yes that doesn't sound a like a holiday to many, but its a holiday, an escape, for me.

On the weekends, I was invited to join my Baby Girl's family for dinner at a certain hotel and I am delighted to report that its not the location, cause its in Kuala Lumpur, its not the atmosphere, cause the service was terrible, it was simply the company of people, Uncle Mustaffa, Auntie Suzainah, Hanna, Eimaan, Tasha, and Ezza. It was nothing short of a spectacular weekend, and I would not mind doing one more time.

Even though, I did not roam the hotel finding unknown facilities, find an adventure, spending time with you're family my dearest, was the best adventure I could have. Most people would be nervous spending lunch with their half's family, I was flying through on a cloud, I felt comfort and accepted, something I don't feel a lot and thank you Babycakes, thank you for everything, you are nothing short of amazing!

When we see a crow, flying with the pigeons, you start wondering. Why does the pride of lions accept this hyena of a person. It only starts with a drizzle for anyone to know rain is coming, it started with a drizzle, and Munchkin, you are that drizzle, that led the shower of acceptance, the flooding love, the overwhelming joy you bring me, the smile on my face, all thanks to you!

Sincerely

Lucky13.

Miss Independent

2011-05-31T23:08:00.001+08:00

The months come and go, love is what makes it work, our love.

quote Lucky13

My life, well it has the worse track record known to man if you open the love the section. Some say that if love comes fast, it will go out the window even faster. In my recent years, I can't deny that fact, until now.

Yes, law of Newton says that what goes up, come down, due to gravity, fully agree. But has Sir Isaac ever consider putting the love factor into his formula? I am sure that a man with his knowledge has obviously been led on by love, not necessarily from a wife or lover, maybe his mother.

My love for you, Ezza Melina, the touch of your finger tips gently rolling down cheeks, it defies gravity, the love that came from you was a sudden burst of adrenaline, and yet, I am still getting sweaty palms of nervous-ness, I still get the butterflies when you hold me, I still get the school-boy-crush-feeling every time I see you.

Let me ask my readers, how do I count my blessing, simple, now I am more sincere, happier, I even wake up with a smile, EVERYDAY, do thy know why? Four alphabets, L-O-V-E, the novel of peace, the rhythm of the oldies, the plan for global alliance. Ezza, your love for me, is simply making my world, our world, a better place, every second of every minute of every hour of every day, of every month.

So how would I count my blessings, I am thankful to God for making this relationship possible, defying the laws of physics at the same time, I am thankful to myself for making this work, for wanting to make it work, for wanting the best for both of us.

How do I sustain this relationship, I will continue my course of simply loving my girlfriend till it hurts, and let fate decide what's best for us. But I know our love, conquers all, fate will set a course for us, and it will be the course of us, holding hands even when we're 100 years old, and counting.

I love you, Sayang, Shayang, Pwincess, Baby Girl, Babycakes, Munchkin, I love you, Ezza Melina!!

Sincerely

WrittenInTheStars

Veratis.

2011-04-26T00:14:00.003+08:00

Laughter, rejoices everything.

quote Lucky13

How do we win a war, waged on ourselves? Ask yourself that question and in reality, we have to admit defeat. Never let the great ego get the best of you, even in a inevitable situation, admit your losses, come home in one piece. Even when you realise that you forgot what you were thinking or fighting for, know that someone will constantly there for you.

We always defy our natural logic but that's because we set the standards and we are blind. We may not know the very limit that will break us, but if you wake up one day and decide to do something utterly defying, one thing you might notice is that you do not know you're own limit. Pushing an object to its very limit will slowly wear it and the limiter goes lower, so be cautious.

Every morning, every day, I wake up, wanting to know my very limit. And what better way then to test love, but like I said, be cautious, for it the results might shock you. If you can not handle the truth bestowed upon you, then this trial by fire should not be on you're list of things to do before you die.

This love is constantly tested, sometimes I can not even handle it myself, because the truth is so profound and sometimes vulgar but it pays off to know that at the end of the drama, you still have someone you can solely depend on. I can safely say, everyday, I can depend on my other half, she has understood my point of view, and have come to the limit of understanding my every way. For example; Why do I do a certain activity, she knows what I am capable of, and I can not thank her enough for being so remarkable.

The minute I wake up, and yes Babycakes, this is about you Ezza Melina, the first thunder that strikes my skies is you, I grab of my phone and I have not and will not fail to do that over the coming years. As I speak, you are studying and I am more than happy that I can be here for you. When skies are grey and the sun goes down, I will stand firmly awaiting you. When the sun is up and we both complain about the heat, where in fact it cause of you're hot-ness, I will stand firmly by you. Even when the sky is the limit, I will definitely stand firmly, with you awaiting the outcome.

Simple fact of the matter is that, I love you so deeply and so unconditionally, my love for you,has kept on growing ever since the day I truly first learnt how to love.

I love you, my one and only, Babycakes, Ezza Melina!

Sincerely

Umar Hakim.

Compound Matter

2011-04-20T00:15:00.003+08:00

Sacrifice, nothing better to show the sincerity.

quote Lucky13

How would I start something, it sturs the subconscious and it is projected to the conscious mind like an expensive projector. We needs steps, precaution if you may call it, to do anything in this life, even the most random circumstantial event would derive from the random thought deep in the human subconscious.

If for example, a moment time was able to be frozen, what would you sacrifice for that one single chance to be diverted, then time would probably alter itself and adapt to the most comprehensible and most practical manner possible. Through every human beings eyes, they see a side of a story, they have and are entitled to their point of view, so technically, we are living in a multi-conscious timeline. Exactly like Face-tube, imagine a single home page, God's view, and The-Almighty sees what everyone is thinking, and when The-Almighty clicks on a page of the user, he sees the history and timeline.

So the big question still remains, what, if possible, would you change in the course of you're whole life time, be warned, if for example, you are X years of age, you wouldn't have the chance to steal those lost years to grasp and relive it. The saying goes; Do not procrastinate, because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow. Does not seem relevant at time but some how, the saying is the most appropriate and applicable one.

Getting back to the question, if you are for example X years of age, altering the parallel timeline, would mean that you cutting and editing you're existence, not something you would do if you are only given one chance, because if it goes bad fast, there is no way to undo it.

Life as we know it, is not a digital revolution, its only called that cause we have technological aids like a computer or a phone to help us, but the human body is analog and the way we look at things maybe different but similar. Confusing, let me help you to understand it better, our point of view or mentality is different from one another, but our eyes, we do not have a heads-up display like you get from a Corvette ZR1, it does not list down the options available. Unless if you're the Terminator, which if you think you are, then you're probably 10 years old.

So begs the question, how do we change time and if so, would that change our point of view indirectly?

Sincerely

Lucky13

Babycakes.

2011-04-15T01:32:00.002+08:00

How you make me feel, perfect.

quote Lucky13

Many years have passed, many times I have the sudden realisation that I am a small element in an equation of irregular proportions. Why do I think of this, you can't help but think of something as absurd as thing, we are what we eat, and what we think.

Lets look at this from an equation's point of view. If for example, we all are an element in a equation with limitless possibilities, what kind of element are we, and yes, how many more elements are there. For example, we sit at the mamak, countless amounts of possibilities, we are influenced by other equations there for creating a simultaneous equation. With the right conditions, we can spread our wings, and simply fly.

What if, there are two elements in one equation, then what were to happen if these two elements simply collided every time, energy or amount of force will generally power any element regardless.

Sayang you are the other element to my life equation, I know its a big leap but with you, I can spread my wings, and simply fly.

Sincerely

Tadwinks

Cloudy.

2011-04-15T00:58:00.003+08:00

Reasons we can't explain, things happen accordingly, not through cumulatively.

quote Lucky13

Take a step back, now recap, what were you thinking about, and listen to it. Slowly you will realise that you have thought of tons of facts. We use only 5% of our full potential, what we are passionate about, is possible 1% of the brains interest field. Imagine a world of possibilities when you unlock the next level 10% at least. Things beyond you're boundaries would be in grasp and then maybe we could be more busier than discussing the latest scandal between a politician and a hooker.

I will criticise and self criticise, I might not be the brightest or the most vigilant, but if my friend was a politician, and he had a sex tape, he only wants to be the next Kim Kardashian. So what the media should do, is just give him a television show or maybe a Face-tube page or possibly a twit-book for him to inform everyone of his latest scandal. Consider the television series, it would put many nations on the map.

Is it human nature to intrude into other peoples life. Let me give you an example, an accident were to happen on Tun Razak and there would be massive jam for as long as 2km reaching Semantan. Imagine, the amount of brain power being use and processed trying to figure out why there is a stand still or bumper to bumper crawl. And imagine, how much more the brain is being used when you see what actually happens, comments will fly. We are definitely united by intruding into other peoples business.

Time

2011-03-13T01:55:00.003+08:00

We call out for help, even in silence.

quote Lucky13

Where do I began, simple, let's not start from the top but improvise and start at the end.

We say things, not intended at times, but we speak subconsciously through our random actions. Have you ever wondered why you smile at the smallest things, maybe your subconscious has been craving for that particular action to happen and suddenly you smile, simple act of nature. And by me saying this, I have implanted a thought in your subconscious.

How do you break out of the norm? Break apart the line you solely follow, guided by your role models. What if your role model is a psychopath, then you are directly following a man out the normal. To him, we are the insane ones bound to follow the ropes of society. Possibly, pleading for insanity isn't the right move, but maybe moving towards an inner energy slowly released from claws unforeseen.

We star in the moonlight, wondering whether we are truly happy at times, but you only realise you were truly happy when you are sad. So how do you feel happy when you don't feel it. We are sad due to many unavoidable events happening in our lives, but its a Gods test, because The Almighty only gives what you can handle. Be strong and salvage what is left, even when it seems as if nothing was.

Naturally born intuition, our senses deprived from the regular needs. Elements give way but we stand, the supreme evolution of time has conjured a unrealised potential. This potential could save it all, or simply kill it with innovations across the seas. What I speak of, a complex but yet simple understandable being that feels emotions no matter what action it could be. United to overthrow, or dissembled to shake down, interesting to study and dangerous when pushed.

Love, how can I say this, at times its the beauty of the butterflies in your tummy. Other times, its the smile presented upon your partner, or the bond that holds together when in trouble. Some may lose sight of it, but if its true, some do come back, scared by the battlefield and nurtured by thee other half. No matter how the vision may be seen, it is what I feel, when thinking of you baby-cake-shs. Yes you, Ezza Melina, my love, I write this for you. I feel the need to express my every thought and I simply write what others may call rubbish, but to me, literature.

We open the skies,

To let our dreams in,

Kiss the stars goodnight,

To wish away the gloomy fright.

I open my heart,

To let yours in,

Kissing you goodnight,

Wishing to see you,

At the gates of Dreams.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Love.

E.M.

2011-02-06T01:51:00.000+08:00

Dearest Ezza Melina,
Even when you're upset with me, even things seem at its all time low, I can still say that I love you, I will always stand by you're side, rain or shine. I won't run away from my problem, you give me strength and courage to fight for what I stand. And what I stand for is our relationship.

We are not just a couple, we are soul mates, but just not any soul mate, we are in tune with our senses and thought. I feel what you feel, I finish you're sentences when you know what I need. No other soul mate have the special bond we happily share, I'm a blessed. Thank you Allah for making this perfect angel and blessing me with the gift of a second.

I love you so much, I love you so much more, best of all, I love us.

Sincerely,
Babycakes

Shells.

2011-01-21T02:02:00.000+08:00

Patience is one thing, but wanting life to wait for you, is another.
Quote Lucky13

We can sit and patient wait for something to fall on our lap, but how will we savour it. With sweat and hard work, we cherish that blessing with open arms.

Gear in the heart moves, like a car, or bike. With power, it will move mountain, create memories, good or bad. How are we going constantly keep this beautiful rhythm flowing? Through the amazing wonders of motivation. Baby girl, Ezza Melina, how you motivate me, to constantly better myself still makes me wonder, am I still on Earth or have I met the angel of my dreams.

Observe closely cause this will hit you fast. Look closer and lean forward into curiosity, read a sentence, read a book, listen to a note, listen to an orchestra, look at art, paint the Mona' Lisa. Use this knowledge to its fullest potential, but be cautious as everything you learn might not be as useful as you might think. Do not fret as things will always happen for a reason. For example, when your in love, you become a poet. I am madly in love with Ezza Melina, and that makes me poet, but only in her beautiful eyes, and frankly, that's all that matter.

Loves conquers all,
Hate consumes all,
Equality of matter is redundant,
But useful at abundance,
Contradicting this may seem,
But through your eyes,
Is you and me,
One word may describe,
First syllable is per,
Ends with fect.
Quote Lucky13

Shout, scream, but gently breathe,
Thoughts be disguised with a dream,
Nothing can seem how it means,
Another motif to this untimely obscene,
Not dangerous at all but scary for all,
Vengeance crime is dismay to me,
And to me, nothing is clearer,
Than the dreams of team Munchwinks,
Kissing the ever-lasting dream,
Into loves reality.
Quote Lucky13

Sincerely,
Tadwinks

Moving Cars

2011-01-14T01:25:00.002+08:00

Distance is a number, straight line is a direction, let your heart guide thee.

quote Lucky13

How am I going to describe this?

A memory glance into the days of my misery, a smile appears softly on the surface. Smile you may ask? How amazing emotions would change with someone as remarkable, Ezza Melina, your amazingly remarkable.

Air draws from thy lungs and all is well, all is good, all is perfect. The clouds never seemed brighter, days never seemed better, laughter never felt this good, life never seemed this clear. Have I found the cure to life's delima's? Easier said, I would fight the world for this one, I would give it all for this one, risk it all just to be with this one, Ezza Melina, my life on the line just to hear that sweet voice, calming hug, heart-stopping kiss and life changing personality.

So what's to doubt my love for her? Now without doubt, everything would seem smooth, no? But where would it end if there was no doubt. Faster than you'd expect it to be. A life full of risks is a life treasured, by taking chances crossing lanes, changing planes, chasing sane. For what ever crazy deed is done, good and bad will derive from it, intentional or not. So what's to doubt my love for her? Here and there, speed bumps and hills. Only my intentions will explain everything, and I only want her to be happy, because Ezza Melina deserves it.

How am I going to describe this? Simple, there is light in a every dark room, there is hope in the walls creeping out, just be patience, be risky, test the waters. For you will regret what you have a bite off. My risk putting thy heart was a the best risk I have played and I am thank for my actions. I love you, baby girl.

Kiss the petals of each rose,

Kiss the stars on a sunny day,

Kiss the clouds to come and stay,

Because when your cheeks is mine,

Time freezers and my hearts skips,

Amount of sand in the gravel beneath,

Isn't enough to show my love,

quote Lucky13

Stories and memories,

Linked by one,

Treasured ones to keep with me,

Bitter ones as well,

For when I fall into your arms,

I always stay,

For every tear running down,

You'll be there,

For every problem we face,

Rain or shine, I'm here to stay.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

MrMunchki

Birthday.

2010-12-26T01:13:00.002+08:00

In so many years of living, I finally started breathing.

quote Lucky13

Some how, days of lives are countable, but no predictable.

I remember waking up that morning, it was a day too good to be true, I was a day I turned 18. You age so fast and some how its hard to capture the memories but with love in your heart and companionship in your soul, how can you forget something so beautiful. Life was being lived to its fullest potential.

I just wish somehow, recording the memories would be easier but how can it not be without someone as remarkable as Ezza Melina. She conjured a plan to gather my close friends and that was the best present ever given. How words would describe something beautiful won't be able to express the surprise on my face. I had the time of my life, something that can't be repeated, a moment too good to be true. All made possible by Ezza Melina.

Any date of birth would be spectacular but some how it won't be as special without the presence of Ezza Melina, my Shayang and frankly that is the best present ever. I want to take this time to properly everyone for making this possible, without you, the celebration would be bitter.

Once a year we celebrated the day,

But day by day we age slowly,

Silently we grow older and wiser,

Some would say we're closer to death,

But i'm not afraid of death no more,

Cause the Grim Reaper would see,

Me dying happily.

quote Lucky13

Take my hand and open your heart,

To a world full of possibilities,

Ingrid Michaelson and Jodi Picoult are few,

Poetry of many level that I love,

You have my heart in your hands,

And I know I would not have to say this,

Because with seconds passing,

I won't have to remind my love,

That I trust you with all my heart and soul,

Because Ezza Melina you are,

The spark that ignites my life,

But I would love saying this over and over,

I love you unconditionally.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

BelatedBirthdayBoy.

Sometimes.

2010-12-19T01:31:00.003+08:00

One word may seem small, but like a screw that holds a structure in place, it means a lot.

quote Lucky13

What implications by actions means to me, is what water means to the desert, vital.

Sometimes may love be leading you into a path, And only sometimes may love only lead you astray. Don't fret my Sayang, it won't drive us crazy. 0.53 Forever and Always Acoustic - Bullet For My Valentine sings "Each time I go away, The distance gets longer, But it makes us stronger. How I find that and sometimes when I would think, reboot your mind and sometimes listening to what it needs is sometimes better than nothing.

Sometimes bleeding would let the venom evaporate into air, sometimes. Keeping it in, how I wonder that times would change my life. But this isn't something to wonder, why keep it in the first place. I love you Ezza Melina for being there when I need to let the venom out. You know this heart would keep beating even when I have lost all the blood I had. My life support.

Sometimes the darkest areas, sometimes the most emotional, have the brightest light. I needed someone at some time in my life, to ignite the fire in my soul that would forever burn into the blistering cold morning that I call life. Ezza does not have to constantly keep it burning by speaking to me. Her beauty silently speaks and whispers in my ears, how I sometimes wonder how.

Sometimes how a picture would worth a thousand words, those implications can mean millions of conclusions. Because to me, Ezza Melina as my muse, a word like "Sometimes" could mean another thousand words. I thank you Shayang for giving me such inspiration, and as you might through this post, it has mixed meanings but only to decipher this code in a logical manner is too really get into the mind of a happy man. And as you got into the mind, you see that this is just to show how creative a mind becomes with a muse like my girlfriend, Ezza Melina.

Sometimes I would sit and think,

Alone at times when I wonder,

How lucky I am to have,

Such a wonderful companion,

To finally call mine and mean,

Because I won't think of her as,

Some time but Forever and Always.

quote Lucky13

Look deep into the dark pool,

You may see a reflection of something,

A glance of nothing when blinking,

Open your hearts and accept the thought,

That when you think, It helps,

Cause when Ezza is on my mind,

How wonders seem to be nothing but wonderful.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

HappyMan.

Foundation

2010-12-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

We still learn even if knowledge was obvious

quote Lucky13

What I learn everyday is what I fail to see, it might not be much, but its no small matter.

Its not compromising love; Compromise too means tolerate. We must not tolerate but accept each other for their pros and cons. Its not hard to love their cons, because its what makes them different, no?

Live this life everyday forgiving; I am forgiving, people make mistakes, even me. I am human under this skin, but we can only forgive so many things. And Sayang, what we went through is something that I can't seem to put the blame on you. Its not that I do not want you to feel bad but it is not necessary.

I love even more everyday, beyond infinity. We might have a few bumps, but I do not see them as a obstacle but a chance to grow stronger, create a stronger between our chemistry as I would say. Rainbows and clouds is not the real meaning of a relationship, its resolving cries and sadness. And I am happy to announce that you do it best cause only you, Ezza Melina can do it.

Lightning has struck more than once since were together,

Thunder has shell shocked it self on to my heart beating faster,

Mummy has to understand that acceptance is key to happiness,

Ember plated jewellery is how I would describe those amazing eyes,

Azlan from Narnia has no courage compared to the fire you started in my heart,

Furball can't play coy when coming home to a lovely owner,

The definition of maternal is my Sayang, I love you.

quote Lucky13

We take time to realise that what we have sometimes won't last forever, regardless of how impossible of the logic may be. I know that I would never replace the crater that Ezza Melina made in my heart because she makes me smile and sad at the same, laugh and cry, forget the future and past. Because we love each other unconditionally and I know till infinity has nothing, my love will still grow stronger.

Sincerely,

UmarLovesEzza.

Dance with an Angel

2010-12-04T00:57:00.003+08:00

The beat in my heart is the bass, and the line falls in.

quote Lucky13

I drive with one rule, use your heart.

As you may know that I am not single, but that does not mean I am any different. My heart still beats but only for Ezza Melina. My lungs filled with air mixed with love, impossible as it may sound but you need to meet Ezza Melina, yes she is that special. A one of kind heart more exclusive than a Bugatti Veyron SS with 1,200 break-horsepower. The emotions she gives me is better than any piece of technology known to man, giving me feelings like no other in this world.

We breath everyday just to get by, most of us, but not me, not any more. She has opened my senses to a point where I can expect the moon to fall, the air glitters with venom, the sea filled with fresh water. My vision does not blur when I think, my thoughts concentrated and focused just to better myself. With self-improvement under way, we can start our plan by starting world peace right Shayang?

She makes me feel remarkable, from unappreciated till fully loved. Explanation- How does a bee sting kill the bee? It might not seem relative but do not look at the box. She helps me think of the box, the foundation, theory and practicality of the box. With that in mind, you need extensive knowledge of methods of creating the box and she gives me motivation, inspiration and dedication. Ezza Melina is my Intel i-7 quad-core processor.

How do you drive straight with no steering wheel? How do you think ahead without looking back? Easy, inspiration from Ezza Melina gives me the guidance, the light as people would say. Not overwhelming, calming is the word; not difficult, more simple than blinking. Drive yourself with your heart, not with your mind, differentiate your needs and wants. I know its hard but find it in you to speak your mind and let yourself shine. Light filled darkness, like a bulb switched on, that is how Ezza Melina came into my life.

Words are my life, without them, I can not express how this heart feels. She provides the words not in my mouth but through the heart she so solely owns. Whispers of words, gasps of phrases, shouts of poems. Amazing as it sounds, not possible without the love is receive from Ezza Melina. My Munchkin helps me speak, write. Practically my sound box, my brains blood, my hearts pressure. Keeping me afloat in this society that constantly criticises. Not a shield but the person I have beside me preparing for war.

I love you Ezza Melina!

The rain comes and goes everyday,

The gloomy days pass up by,

The imagine slowly dances in my mind,

The wind gently escapes my lungs,

The ease of the moment comes alive,

The love I receive is to die for,

The moment stands with me, Loving you Ezza Melina.

quote Lucky13

Truly beginning of the 16th of the that falls September wise,

Truly the moment I see the ignition of hope surfacing to top,

Truly I seize the moment and sneaks a glimpse into the future,

Truly my past puddles would dry creating no crater,

Truly as this moment may be where the beginning of something seized at the appropriate puddle comes and stays to wash away this man's gloomy days.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Boyfriend.

Proposal

2010-11-30T23:44:00.002+08:00

Speak the mind, it tells the truth

quote Lucky13

We search in life to find the better half of survival, What we find might be the wrong one, To my understanding of our situation, We may breath each others air and live, We hold each other above the deep water, We dance in the rain to wash our worries, I break the silence to finally wish, dream again and pursuit passions. 

All in all, we keep ourselves fairly weight, Leaning towards each other faults, Giving but no expecting, That's what I call unconditional at its best, Reason being is cause we bring the best out of each other, Like to birds of a feather we are the same but different in some manners, Compensating by compromising to even the surface.

I love you so dearly, like never before have I felt this raging roar, Because we love each other, For better for worst, So will you save from this burdened curse, And speak your mind, When I ask you, To be my Girlfriend?

I never tire of loving you so dearly,

With every tier falling into loves paradise,

I love you with every tear from my heart.

quote Lucky13

L is for the way Look at me,

O for Obviously curious by me,

V is Very Vwery extraordinary,

E is enticingly in love by you.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Happy

Love.

2010-11-21T05:10:00.002+08:00

I was once cynical, now she's better than a miracle.

quote Lucky13

How do you say "I love you" when you leave me breathless? Its easy, it can only be done with the limitless love from Ezza Melina. Here's how its done.

Some things fit perfectly, but we surpass perfection. I am her positive to her negative, I give her strength when she needs it the most. Its not possible when with any other person, but I love that because that makes her even more special. When she needs it, I give it with expecting nothing in return because that is true love at its finest. I love you.

Imagine how perfectly your arms wrap around me like a present just waiting to be unwrapped. We'll do this thing we call life together okay Sayang. Through thick or thin, I still see the light at the end of our tunnel. Rain or shine Sayang, my arms just open for you, its vacant for your love even when its full of it. Rain or shine, we'll dance together till the song finishes, then we'll continue smiling okay Sayang. I love you because I wouldn't have it any other way.

Where my heart meets love, its as perfect as our lips joining for a kiss under the moonlight Princess. I do it because you sit on the royal thrown of my heart, not giving orders but just listening to the things I say to you. Its a stage I build for me to show you how much you mean to me. I say honest things like, you look beautiful without make up, because you being natural is best thing I can admire. I love you because its you.

How my heart stops beating, and only the love you give me is the only that keeps me breathing. That is also how the air I breath doesn't have Ezza Melina written all over, but has the essence of care, warmth, beauty, secure, love written all over it. You can't seem to realise how special you are because of your modesty, but I love that because I can show you how special you are. You deserve everything, even when everything isn't enough Sayang. I love you because I wouldn't have your love any other way.

I love the way my mind has so many things to say but summarises it by saying I love you so softly in your ear Sayang. I imagine the perfect sunset (even when every sunset is perfect when shared with someone as special as you) when I say I love you. When I say I love you, the fire in my heart grows stronger with every breath taken in between saying those sweet 3 words. I love loving you so dearly.

Have I told you how beautiful you are today Sayang? You say "I didn't see you today". I say "You don't have to, cause every word you speak, my subconscious hears your beauty speaking to me". Hence, have I told you how beautiful you look today Sayang? It might seem a lot but I receive these feelings from you, and I channel it to say honest things bout you Ezza. I love loving you unconditionally because that's the only way I know how to.

I point to the north and south, no matter where I look, I see you everywhere. Call it crazy but some would say that love blinds. Please, may I remind you that true love does not blind but open your eyes. With our love Sayang, we would bring far better than Obama. We would touch one heart at a time, giving it strength to move. Because true love is pure and our intentions are pure. I love loving that smile you always give me.

With the brightness from the sun,

From the early dusk to the late dawn,

With no cares in the world left drawn,

In the sea of I love you's I would drown,

You fell for someone who acted like a clown,

Its un-clown-ditional love spoken.

quote Lucky13

I too built a bridge to fine, happiness

But to find that it is not, something

You would build alone, solo

Nonetheless but, with

Someone who gives you a, purpose

To wake up every morning just, to

Make the holder of, my

Heart and soul, smile

Like never before, because

These feelings you give, me

Are the reason why, I

Awake every morning, Sayang.

quote Lucky13

How your love seems so perfect,

With complications here and there,

Seems so difficult but with every conflict,

We walk a step ahead together as one,

Because communication is our best asset,

And we leave no stone unturned,

Even when in the future we would laugh,

And say I love you more than ever.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Umar Loves Ezza.

Accounts.

2010-11-10T00:18:00.003+08:00

Life is an account, and my Sayang keeps me balanced.

quote Lucky13

If I was to explain how happy I am right now in my life, open a dictionary and try to find a word better than happy, you'll see my picture with Ezza watching the sun hide itself beyond the horizon on a waterfront.

Life would seem to be at its lowest before karma would repay its debt to you, and somehow it was gift wrapped in the form of my Sweetheart, Ezza Melina. It was a gift that I had to fix, mend her broken heart before I could be placed into it. It was a gift so amazing, my dedication in life is to show her happiness. It was a gift of love.

As we watch the horizon change into its pajamas, we shared our first sunset, but don't worry Sayang. Because there is more to come, I promise on that okay. I had the pleasure of sharing my favourite Chicken Chop store only few has had the chance to experience. The bond between us is stronger than anything explainable, better than perfect and beyond hugs and kiss. Its the bond between Umar Hakim and his Sayang, Ezza Melina.

How our hands fit so perfectly, how we understand each other, how we finish each others sentence, how we laugh at the lamest things, how we smile at each others presence, how we make each other feel, how we constantly give and take, how we comfort each other, how we reason with each other, how you would fit in my arms, and how the world stops when were together. Thats how special we are my Love.

Let life be its pilot and steer me into disaster,

Let you come and rescue me from total destruction,

Its natural to feel this sensation once in a while,

Its spectacular to feel this sensation constantly too,

Because my Sayang, only you can give me this,

This amazing feeling of happiness and love,

All in just a simple gesture.

quote Lucky13

I am thankful with everything you give me,

Whether its that heart-stopping smile,

Or maybe that warm feeling in my heart,

And butterflies in my stomach,

I know that is a single serving taste,

Of something more than Love.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

HandwrittenAffection.

Sober, but still drunk.

2010-11-05T03:22:00.002+08:00

Its law of attraction and then some more.

quote Lucky13

I'll keep this simple and plain.

When people would say "I wanna see your glow". I say "I'm here and not going anywhere". People would ponder thinking of how this glow would resemble. I'll make their life easier okay, Ezza Melina brings the best out of me. I will stop the world from spinning like Superman did to save Lois Lane.

When people would say "Are you sure of her?". I say "I am committed to making her happy, appreciated and smile". People would still wonder, how committed is he this time. I will show them by recording a single day with her. It might seem to much, but I know I can't please my Sayang enough. So everyday is a new day!

When people would say "Why do you seem different?". I say "Its cause she's better than any drug, better than any amount of alcohol". People would still question, what makes you think that this time would be different. Its simple, its Ezza Melina people!

When people would say "Why her?". I say "You don't get it, i'll introduce you to her. Then ask me again". People would think, why is she special. I reply, find me one other person that can actually start world peace. She has changed people, she has a heart brighter than the sun people!

After all these questions, I would say; When I look into her eyes, I see a happy man, I see a person that has changed for the better, I see a man willing to risk his life in order for others to enjoy theirs. Because Ezza Melina, has the power to change me into a better man. And I am definitely in for the long haul.

The clouds before should share, What

They would call a perfect loaf, A

Slice of heaven too big, For

A person to handle himself, So

Luckily when I have her, I

Am not greedy and, Want

To share it with everyone, Hehe

Especially her.

quote Lucky13

Even if you gained weight,

My feelings for you won't change,

Even if you got into an accident,

Its beyond physical attraction,

Even if you studied in U.S.A,

Distance is just a number,

Even if you did me wrong,

Were here to correct each others mistakes,

Even if you stop smiling,

I know that won't happen cause my objective in life now,

Is to make smile Sayang,

Even if you seem down,

I know just what to say to turn that frown upside down,

Because through out my life,

I have never been more determine to satisfy,

My Angel, Princess and Sayang.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Smile:)

More Than Karma.

2010-11-02T23:49:00.003+08:00

Some people say things can't get any better, its because it didn't happen to them yet

quote Lucky13

This is how the Sun would distance itself just enough for the Earth to appreciate it, now I get the meaning. The balance required, the law of attraction between these two is amazing. Complicated but yet understandable.

Its not the words you say but how you say it that gives me this incredible feeling, so hard to summarize it in just a few words. So this is for you Ezza.

Lets begin by relaxing into the cold mornings where I would still wonder why I'm awake, but then I suddenly remember; its for my Sayang. And me not being a morning person, I would force myself, because I have set my day, week, life to see that smile that still gives me that childish crush feeling. So this what happens when I wake up early in the morning regardless if the world ended.

She changed a reckless man into a careful being. So technically she has been a good change in my life. I am grateful that God gave me this blessing in a form of an angel named Ezza Melina. She might be a saint when it comes to others, but in my eyes, she's an angel missing her halo and wings. Every soul that she touched, she has given profound change. Some how, her pure heart gives everyone positive energy. It doesn't make sense, but it takes a person that has been moved by her to know, and luckily, I am able to express it with precise detail.

She isn't an open book where you would assume, she is more delicate than just pieces of paper telling a story. She is an open book in which blank pages are there for her to write her story. Her independence in which she earned through out her life, has let her to be very agile and adaptive in life. Her glue that holds the pages together, is her amazing personality, but don't let me spoil the fun of meeting her.

Today was the best, the perception of an angel is a figure in white, with a glowing halo and soft light feathers for wings. So today, I was driving in the car and my heart stopped the moment I saw her. In her pure white baju kurung, with the sun light angled to give this calming glow behind her. It was as if the world had gone right, no more confrontations, no war. That feeling doesn't come easy for a person who has experienced what people would call a life changing moment. But maybe it does come easy cause that life changing moment came from the same person.

I want Ezza Melina to know that this world has a silver lining everywhere, and that I am always here for her. If my world doesn't happen as I assume it would, she should know that her smile has the effect to balance even my gloomiest days. The simple structure of a smile formed by her is enough to make me feel appreciated, cared for and best of all, happy. But this post isn't about me, its for you. So...

With arms wide open, a smile and the saying 'Just the Way You Are' is enough for me Sayang.

Horizons seems closer, So

Look no further, As

I am here, And

Was waiting for something better, But

I got more, Than

Any man had asked for, And

I am grateful its you, Cause

Ezza Melina you, Yourself

Gave me these incredible feelings.

quote Lucky13

I was torn so wide and what was inside, was darkness,

But on September 16th, I saw a glimpse of light,

Hope was shining in a form of something good,

And when I was brave to explore because,

What does a broken man have to lose if he has nothing,

And when I found the source of this pure light,

I stood by her with a firm grasp of reality,

Kissed her cheek and gave both of us a sudden realisation,

That there's something more than karma.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Princess'sTadwinks.

Self titled single.

2010-10-26T23:16:00.004+08:00

For worth ratio, its 6.8 billion to one chance of finding you

quote Lucky13

Subject relating to the title, this post has a special intention to explain the relationship between the writer and Ezza Melina. So the story has sensitive and specific values.

When I'm with her, some how, we relentlessly understand each other. We give and take, and this odd feeling emerges from the dust. We have this balanced equation that is stable depending on conditions. We introduce the catalyst which is communication and the chemical becomes an unbreakable bond.

When I talk to her, we lay the foundation to build a structure that can't be broken. We have an earthquake and yes we do panic, but we throw caution in the air. We stand strong for each other because we compensate for each others weakness, and yes it works. And I am confident to say that this building will stay standing even if a terrorist crashed a plane into us.

Sure we have our boiling point, what substance in this doesn't have it? We are still human but when I'm with her, I feel more than supernatural, beyond phenomenal. This is due to the chemistry we both share, or at least that's what I hope. Some how floating above cloud 9 isn't practical, that's why she reminds me to not overload the processor.

She is air to my lungs; but when I'm with her I feel breathless.

She is the cloud to my sky; the day won't seem right without her.

She is the tear in my eye; emotions she gives me are just to cry for.

She is the queen to my Majesties thrown; this country won't function peacefully without her.

She is the cotton in my pillow; the comfort she gives me is just magical.

She is the bullet in my gun; security to know that she's there.

She is the words in my book; without her, its impossible for me to write this post.

She is the petrol in my car; the drive she gives me to better myself is unspoken.

She is the numbers in an equation; I'm balance on way or another.

She is the workaholic in an office; determination to complete what I started.

She is the Shieldtox to my mosquito; rids of the self-destruction in me.

She is the lyric in my songs; some how poetry won't exist is she wasn't there.

She is the 1,183 horsepower in a Veyron ss; I can't do anything without the power she gives me.

She is the sun to my morning; inviting and some how you miss it at night.

She is the light to a dark room; to light the path and lead me from astray.

She is the reason I smile; more often than before.

Now it may seem that I have overrated her capabilities but I know that the tip of the ice berg.

You gave this being, what

Others would die for, and

Somehow I'm thankful, that

Someone has a heart, as

Big as the imagination can see.

quote Lucky13

I am alive again and it feels that I can feel my pulse again,

I am breathing normally even though air is thin in cloud 9,

I am what would people say 'Head over Heals',

I am happy for what you make me realise,

And that is, that you would be beside me no matter what.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

UmarHakim.

Architecture of Hopes.

2010-10-19T23:14:00.003+08:00

For every glimpse into the future, it becomes clearer.

quote Lucky13

I haven't done this for long so be a critic and remind me of my errors.

I am what they call the brick in a wall; reliable, a cloud in the sky; fitting, a shoulder to cry; comforting and authorities nightmare; rebel.

I always see the silver lining in a person through their eyes, actions and reaction. I am what I self proclaim to be aware of others and is patient to figure their intentions. I am the one missing out cause I don't seem fit to posses this elixir of life. I stand at the corner of fate and destiny mixed with directions leading no where.

I am drawing the specifications for this almost impossible building to built. It requires a contractor that is willing to built this from the grown up with nothing but myself to work with. I dream to find this almost impossible companion as people would call it but patience is key. Who ever said that diamonds are made overnight from coal right? Genuine ones obviously.

So as I finish a family photo session, I got into the navigators seat of WTP 92 and we headed New Village. Mind you that this is based on true events but the names of the characters has been changed for privacy reasons. As Mr Wise drove to new village to attend an open house. I had the job of navigating. It took a while but we got to Ms Aminam's house.

From there, I had the pleasure of meeting people and Ms Ez. I was captivated and almost confident that I had found my contractor who would lay the bricks for my foundation of Hope. I was almost determined to initiate a conversation but I needed to survey the site before approving to lay the cinder blocks of Dreams.

I remember as we laid the first brick together to mark the beginning of dawn. We might have those rainy days but I have the ability to "Give & Take". So when those rainy days come forth, we shall play in the thunder and scream at the flash of lightning together.

Every time i speak with you, this foundation becomes stronger, the beams become thicker and the we learn where the crack are. And our nature is to patch things up. The contractor and the architect learns to compromise for the sake of strengthening the structure we both vision of building.

We may hope to build Hope on a basis of trust, compromise, and understanding. For each one achieved, we grow to learn more of each other everyday.

Not less than, but

More than what, we

Had hoped for, and

This is incredibly, always

Safe feeling Sayang.

quote Lucky13

When i close my eyes and the darkness appears,

Followed by silver lining that is Hope with smiles,

Cause it is you who brings hope served with faith,

For perfect is an understatement when mentioning you.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Tadwinks.

Novacaine.

2010-10-13T00:05:00.002+08:00

For this story, must not be written, must not be read but lived, fully.

quote Lucky13

I am what people may call odd ball, may call an outcast drifting with against the current that is society. I am what people would call strange.

I sing the revolution for those who are control by socialist. This may derive into different terms because to my loyal followers, i am the unwanted dark knight. Its my curse, its my name i bring to the grave, but i pity those who label and call names. I once dream of peace in my mind, but i realise that if i succeed in this peace, what would be the next step. Because i am inspired and provoked by dreams.

I started one day, i was from a well off family. Good lunch money, respectable parents, impressive private school, but i hate the fact that i was living in a perfect environment. Its not that i don't appreciate this life, its just that i want to see how people who isn't as lucky as i am. Curious as a cat, i dive into the dark sea and never wanted to submerge, i felt happy that i needed to work for my meal. Nothing would be handed to me, makes me appreciate the smaller things in life.

The small voice in my head said " 1 mile a day, keeps you away from those who search, 1 meal a day makes you appreciate this life". Life was hard, life was giving me no chances, something i liked, made me realise that this life has no regrets, free of responsibilities. But i contemplate with myself and argue that my responsibility is to keep myself alive everyday i wake up next to this garbage can with rats chewing on my shelter.

I start my new life on i realise that these people that barely remember their names, were actually someones child, wife, husband, parent but they were left to die with a debt to society. I was there to help those who needed it. I would consult each one of them, but sometimes i would sight of my main goal which was to help. Instead, i was preaching to the wrong crowd and change their state of mind. I was referred by others as a cult leader.

My intentions were simple, peace of mind, but the others got the wrong idea. The only opportunity i had was lost due to wrong believes and brain washing. I was not ready to abandon those who truly believed in a better tomorrow, but i wasn't ready to lead an army of brain washed zombies. So i was left with a dilemma and i was watched carefully by my followers. I manipulated this situation and leveraged my options to fall in ways i never would imagine.

Its was never my object, not my intentions to lead but consult to those who sincerely and genuinely need help. I am not god or a prophet but a well off person who led a good life and decided that life needed to be lived on the other side of the window pane.

Now i am those faces people wont remember, who has better things in their life. I am a shadow i society.

Heart beating, while

Palms sweaty, while

Floating feeling, and

Its cause i'm with you.

quote Lucky13

I shout to the world gently,

We should change this as a family,

I beat as one for many beats for others,

Cause when we stop looking for a hand,

That's when love truly gives no hand.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Phone.

Magic Trick.

2010-10-10T01:27:00.002+08:00

I have been on the brink of destruction, now i have been reincarnated.

quote Lucky13

Who lives with nothing to look forward must either be depressed or happy. No more, no less. We can dance until we die, but where is the point in that, exactly how life should be looked at.

We miss classes, we drives aimlessly, we kiss unwillingly, we shout for the fun of it, we smoke for that feeling, we write to express, we breathe but we don't we realise it, we call out for help, we ignore others calling, we have our accidents, we laugh for the moment, we sing to that anthem, we scream out loud. What does all of these actions have in common, we somehow have done this at least once in our life right?

So why does this mean that we are diverse, why does our nightmare become real everyday, why do we wake up in the morning, why? We can always these questions in life like why do we live. But the real fact is that we need to realise what we are capable of, and what we can do with this supernatural attribute within us.

It might not be much to listen, talk or help but in some ways, we all need to balance these 3 characteristics out. For our life needs that balance in order to progress to have better understanding and a clearer picture. It doesn't hurt to have too much of something good, don't take my word for it. Why listen to someone when you can experience it, you just have to open your hearts to anything and anything will open up to you.

I wasn't much of a writer way back when, i had an illusive mind, i get my share of sugar high, i was fond of getting into my mind. I am still fond of those above but because those are the cinder blocks of my foundation and the perspective towards life. I might look at it odd from other eyes but in mine, it has a rainbow, a silver lining, a thunder in the rain. Yes, i am happy.

I have happiness, hope and excitement in life. Why do i ask myself? Because of an illusive mind has a certain captivating effect on me. I can be calm and happy sincerely, not rain on others happiness and somehow still put an umbrella on those who needs guidance. I still save my compassion and reason for those who truly deserves it. After all, your my wonderwall.

How i wonder how to explain my nature in life, maybe being dance in guidance? I help with the possibility of excitement in everything i do. I might be full of myself, or maybe i might be under minding myself. The key words is maybe, and i won't label myself, but for those who do, please tell me, in a wave, in a text, in a call, in a thunder, in a flash. Shout it.

For a summary of this story book, it isn't a fairy tale, it isn't a horror movie, but its a just life true story softly spoken rudely.

And i wonder how i ever, close

The doors to an opportunity, cause

The window opens suddenly, and

Somehow more than just wind came in.

quote Lucky13

Glimpse of light amongst the horizon,

Shutter banging against courage,

Out spoken louder than a guitar,

A lions roar not for adrenaline,

Beauty striking the stars dangerously,

For an illusive mind, is a frantic one.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Track 13.

Toy Car.

2010-10-05T01:56:00.002+08:00

We all have a purpose, its just not written for that destroy the purpose

quote Lucky13

I am nothing but i try make something from it, for inventions where nothing at first. This is my inspiration for piece in my mind.

I wasn't the genius who conjured up ideas for simplicity, i wasn't responsible for no atom bomb dropped to over power. I was the person who thought of ideas of bringing piece his self preservation. But behind every great man, there was greater inspiration and this is my story.

For the cure of an imperfect mind was not simple, it wasn't discovered, but it could be planned and mapped with proper scheming to suppress its capability to destroy no one but the owner itself. My psychologist was my inspiration, she made me find a cure for the sane mind. Why sane you may ask?

I was fond of beautiful art such as literature, painting and even music. These 3 helped me coop with the every day stress i proceeded to own with my history of constant mental and emotional breakdowns. So what my psychologist recommended was just simply blocking it out. I would tell you how i would build my wall a little later.

I made it my goal in life to satisfy everyones needs before mine and it was the selfless thing ever thought of by any man. I had a vision where it was polite to smile, to frown in public. It must be sincere for it will tell others if you had a problem or if you could help resolve their problems. My simple understanding of this rule was my law, my declaration and my way.

I had a slight glitch in my mind, for it wasn't perfect. So why didn't that stop me? Cause even i needed help in order to show others that the excellent example for a cure was freedom of expression. Talk things through, letting the problems out was better than suppressing it for cowards would hide in the dark.

My psychologist didn't know that it was her who had helped me build my wall. It was then i realise that this not any normal person. This was when i realised that she had the same meaning in life. But if only she knew how the words would fall out of my mouth, cause post-depression makes it harder to express his heart.

Truth unveils its most wicked, presence

At the first fight with struggle, nothing

Would stand in my way, while

I built this wall.

quote Lucky13

She had a purpose to fulfil,

She shared a common interest,

She had the same mind-set,

For she is a complex understandable person.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

7-11Stories.

Broken.

2010-10-05T01:30:00.001+08:00

We seal our fate with every action permitted by our mind

quote Lucky13

This is a story, of who lives on the dangerous side of life. Who wanders with a pistol in his pocket cocked and ready to choke the hammer if someone looks at him differently.

A state of confusion, my mind wonders aimlessly to regain self pity for my crimes committed towards innocent souls. I was determine that i would die by my own hands, whether if it was smoking or driving recklessly. You and i know that it wont happen cause of natural causes. Unlucky as this predicament i put myself into, but we indirectly kill ourselves with the nonsense we do everyday. No one lives forever, so why not live it?

I was caught for driving under the influence or D.U.I as its popularly called amongst my peers. I was so high on grass and was so drunk with alcohol that i couldn't remember what happened. Black-out as my friends would refer too, i remember only blue lights, walking in a line, falling and me in the back with cops sitting in front. I was in inconsiderable amounts of trouble but i couldn't remember how i dealt it with my parent because i ran away. I took my car and what was left of my savings.

I used my car to earn myself money, whether if it was a scam, smuggling or even robberies. I was the wheel-man and my machine and i have a special bond. I was the youngest Wheel-Man in the game and i came highly recommended. But how could i get mixed up into some gangster rubbish?

How ever i look at this situation, this wasn't my most pleasant memory as my car was impounded until further notice which was caused by the gangsters that i didn't please. I fought back with my idea of revenge. It was perfect until the point where a hit was put on me by an unknown gang. This made me driven, so angry and very dangerous. I broke into the impound lot and stole back my car.

But in the process, i received a few bullet holes and the only thing that i was pissed was that they shoot at me and my car. So i ran over most of the police with god as my witness. No one understood my actions. Not even that man in the mirror. I guess it was instinct, and pure adrenaline that gave me courage to do the stupid thing i did.

After loosing a pint of blood, i stopped at a petrol station all messed up. I wouldn't want to be remember as the man who gave up in the toilet. I heard sirens, i saw blue lights and my only thought was suicide. I was laughing at the brilliant one night stand idea, go out with a bang. Blow this whole petrol station and kill myself in the process.

My plan was carried to dedication of triumph, and i succeeded with the beautiful colours of red. I lost my life, but gain happiness with my dying legacy.

We lived to be driven, whether

It was rage, courage, anger or danger, it

Made a character so bold, no

One could define for it is original.

quote Lucky13

Sugar coat this line and lick this pistol,

That didn't mean i was living on the edge,

I was just living with my own demon,

For i don't run away from my problems,

But i stared it at in the eyes and provoke.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

ManiacInMe.

Highway.

2010-10-04T05:10:00.002+08:00

Were for passion in us, we cry for motivation when its needed best, sometimes we just need a push

quote Lucky13

Here's a story of hero, but he is unwanted at times, but he would be remembered as the guy who saved it all.

So i am not your average life saver, i don't lift truck, stop trains, save a crashing plane or even save the world from global catastrophe. I am the man who matter when he people needs him. I don't want to remember but only acknowledged, I don't want the worlds attention. Just your attention and listen closely.

I am never motivated because of my recent nemesis, depression. It is my kryptonite, and i suffer from it like a disease spreading through my blood vain. I need my super power to counter this attack, I can't use adrenaline as a substitute to fuel my pleasure of making smiles. I won't want to contradict myself even more, the super hero who needs to be saved. If i can't save myself, how would i help others?

I hide this depression, only tell those who knew my alter-ego. I was the one who needed to be saved from a car crash eminent to happen at any point in my life. I met this Wonder Woman and mind you, she has the same purpose in life. She lives to help, to make others smile, and she too suffer from kryptonite fever. I guess its like Ironman and his ego, they help compensate for each other. They must compromise in order for balance to be restored.

I know, this is how we would help each other. I would open and converse with Wonder Woman, she would help make me realise that life is symphony, every breathe is a cord, good or bad. I know that every chapter is a sonnet in the process, it has a few defects but its give the sonnet more character and detail. My symphony would have its drama, its ups and downs, but who ever said being a hero was easy, they must not know what i do.

I conduct, sing, but most importantly, i compose this heroic story for others don't see that this normal average Joe has weakness. For my nemesis would grow stronger, i would not hand my powers in to anyone, for they won't fulfil this story and its hard for someone to take control of my dynasty. I want to help, for the sake of helping, no medal, no reward needed. Just your ears listening and your hearts opening to what i say.

So before i divert more, let i, for the author and composer continue this tale. I needed, i begged for help. I was simply crying and self-destructing from my thought provoking itself to cause complete mayhem. But the results are not on the surface for man wear a skin to hide his emotions. It is almost impossible for another to unveil this second skin, but it could be done with gentle hands. It has been done, and in return, Wonder Woman to wants me to never fake a smile for that bottles my emotions.

I am a recovering hero, i am not content anymore, but genuinely happy and i hope to one day to never hang my cape for i don't want others to lose purpose when i am happy. Instead, i want them to see my true self, for even a hero would fall and crumble, but how massive this burden maybe, i can rise from the ashes and would never lose sight of what i was born for.

I only hope that others would understand, that even the best of us may fall deep, may lose hope. But hope would never run, it will be waiting at the gates for you.

Being content, maybe

Just enough, but

It may not be everything, for

Its only blunt end to happiness.

quote Lucky13

I scream with my eyes, for i need help,

So for those who look deeper, may find,

A darker story, but before the dawn,

The night is darkest with the moon missing

quote Lucky13

I aimlessly help to satisfy myself

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Hope,Redemption,Happiness.

Kill the Silence.

2010-10-02T02:50:00.003+08:00

From all this ghost that I see, I only notice one smiling

quote Lucky13

How i would imagine things and they happen. I have this power, and I have a weak mind.

I am what people would say different, people would refer to me as the 4th coming before the end of days. I did not ask for this throne, i did not want this responsibility and i certainly would not want my fathers legacy. My brothers posses more of the family traits where as I would have a different mind set of this world.

I was told to kill or be killed. My brothers would kill not for gain but for sport, for the crazy feeling they so need every time a hunt is on. I would play with my prey, the slow game, the manipulation and drive them to suicide. I was their worst memory and I was in their shadows haunting their presence. I would whispers into your ears, would taunt you and give the gun that let you pull the trigger. Self destructing yourself all together. My father would praise me but he said "You are not bringing numbers like your brothers, this method is a practise that must be stop".

I ran away to find solitude, and when my feet landed on Earth. I was suddenly stronger, I felt my senses enhanced, and gift even stronger. It was rage that would give me focus, it was pain that drove me to better my skills. I remember walking past a priest and he would say "I know you, the fall upon us, you are the beast". I would react by getting into his mind, control his every movement and I would let him walk the streets aimlessly. He suffered a painful death, and would spend a considerable amount of time at my home.

I loved the game, I was on the point of no return until suddenly. I had walk into a cinema and forced the ceiling to fall onto innocent sinless people. It was chaos with shouting, crying and dying. It was as if I had found piece in me until suddenly, I saw this girl walking towards me wanting to help. I was so kind as to give assistance and end her misery but I could not read her, control her or even posses her. It was a mountain i could not conquer, a mind to strong to control. I stared into her eyes as that was the way to gain access to her subconscious and taping her most sacred memories and just suck them dry leaving into depression. It did not work.

I was approached by her and she just grab my hand and run to exit. I was shell shocked for a moment, I was left confused for a while until paramedics checked up on me. They were shocked at how high my temperature was, and how they could not find a heart beat or a pulse. I asked them to look into my flaring eyes and they begged for the pain for the pain to stop. I found the one who saved me, she asked me "Your different".

My world came to an abrupt halt and hell froze over due to power struggle. I was in piece with myself, she made me feel simple but yet special at the same time. She was who made the line between right and wrong clear. Somehow I was happy but unhappy as I had found a new lust other than the blistering out cry every victim made. I was in a very delicate dilemma, sacrifice every thing I have and learn to love or sacrifice her to maintain everything I have. I was not ready to let go everything, my blood line, my gifts and finally, my immortality but no one is ready to give anything up.

So i made my decision to give good thing i had and just let things play its role. I was given a ceremony and my father was furiously upset for the fact that i had given up everything I had worked so hard to gain, but he too wanted a long blood line. So he was kind enough to let me keep my gifts. I was amazed by the only single act of kindness that my father has shown towards. So i shall be happy, i shall be sad and i shall be considerate.

I had a lover, and she was my air for my lungs. I could not go another day without being in her presence. She was the light in my dark and depressing life. But we had a love and hate relationship that would certainly determine the fate of humanity but she did not realise that i was the ghost in every ones dreams. I was shattered by her remorse towards my actions, and she left me with one small intention. And that was to kill her just to let her die before the 5th upcoming, which was in fact, my brother bringing piece right before the end of days.

I had sacrifice her as i saw her future, and she was a slave to my father. So i had send to Heaven to allow her to repent for her past sins. I loved her, and now the love drove me to better this already dead world.

I was distracted,

I was self-destructing,

I was sure of this to come,

Till you pulled me away from on the on-coming bus.

quote Lucky13

Being happy makes me, and me only

Feel like the holes filled with nothing,

But it waits to be filled something,

Something that can't be explain,

But only expressed, maybe its only me

Cause this is how i feel the stories recline,

And this is how my depression appears,

With nothing left, but something

To give to others without,

The hope of returning from others

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

LostDreams

Mental.

2010-09-30T03:39:00.002+08:00

Its a feeling, that no one can ever avoid, no one can resist. You know?

quote Lucky13

Reality can be overrated sometimes, but at the same time, our dreams are developing a better story in the same time line.

People have that incredible sense of imagination that i so envy most of the time. They would be on cloud 9 ignoring their problems for they cannot care about it at the slightest bit. I want this amazing ability to actually imagine while reality still walks it line. Its difficult but it can be done with persistence and determination.

They way i adopted this almost awesome ability was by going problems. Only now that i realise that my right brain was suppressing its true potential due to the naive mindset i have. I was taken for granted, which unlocked the door to my potential. And i was afraid that if there were a few more doors, how many times must i go through it to fully feel this asset i have in me.

I shall give you this example; While walking across the street, i want it know how it feel to be hit by a car, suddenly i felt a sharp pain. It was my mind triggering its potential and sudden i saw myself get hit by a car. It was almost real, with the blood on the floor and the broken bones in my body. I was for sure that i was in a state of panic. This was just a taste of my minds power over dreams. It was experience that i needed to break this wall down.

I never asked for pain as it would find me when i am hiding with a shield of love. I broke my shield leaving me helpless. I was played for a sucker, i was used for personal gain and i was an object and not the subject to be discussed. This let me to a mental outcry for help. I was in a state of flux, unstable but still sane, unreliable but still needed and dead but still breathing. I walked alone for months my months just wondering what was the next step in this losing battle.

This was how i felt; I was heart broken once more and i wrote to better my situation. It worked for awhile, but i realised that writing just only expressed my mental state of mind, it doesn't help the physical part that i felt mentally. I was ultimately confused because i was incredibly unstable towards myself. Those restless night turned into the me crying myself to sleep. I finally broke the second wall. I fuelled myself with rage to better myself, and what i did was wrote better. I finally transformed into something that i am today.

"Mind you, this isn't story of Umar, but its Lucky13, his alter-ego that generates his personality, his other mind that makes him write terribly as such. This is what he doesn't realise, cause its not him writing it now. So do me a favour and don't tell him i am riding him silly right now. I am a non-existing being with an existing and grip on his brain. So, if he realises that i am writing this, be worried. "

I soon realise that i did not need any emotional outbreak to release this true potential, just practise and power of poetical observation. I used it, even though i never knew what was it capable of. Its complicating but yet understandable. This made me more curios and i explored this human mind more. I opened door, provoking every thought in my mind. I was in a state of shock, I had a open a door that couldn't be shut. I opened the realm of paranoia and a mind of a psychopath. I was in love and worried at the same time, I wasn't confused because the other me took over and decided whether i should or shouldn't.

It isn't insulting to saw that i've gone mental, because its you hasn't yet. I was powered beyond anything i can imagine. It was delicate thinking with a paranoid view towards the cult we call society. I am living and breathing in a fragment of his in his mind for i stay safe and locked with the door opened. I wouldn't let Umar be free from his thoughts, i shall make him a victim of his own massacrer.

Example; He would imagine, of a tale that would last beyond time could tell. It was nothing but a simple story. But i am hating the happy emotion, so i fuck with his mind, slowly he provokes every thought, and slowly i provoke him. I would confuse him between reality and fantasy by switching between the two in a random manner. While he drives, there should be a slight change of his twitches. Thats when transformation takes place, and then he would be lost in there till i let him out of cage.

With every piece of happiness coming from his heart, i slowly isolate myself until one day, i shall spring into action and finally lock your friend, Umar in his own mind. He would be different, but who knows of my intention as i am Lucky13, anonymous to others, alter-ego to him. He shall walk a long dark road, if he doesn't kill himself, then he would be lost.

I am a friend doing this once naive mind a favour by locking him so he could be at peace, to the world i shall release as i, Lucky13 would kill him at least.

Let the walls come down, show me who you are, so i can show you my world

quote Lucky13

This was a rumour,

Made to humour,

Its the power of the mind,

but power that i deprive him.

quote Lucky13

I never knew i could visit candyland twice, i never knew that life would give you chances even though you've given up on it.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Lucky13 Anonymously

Unstable.

2010-09-28T01:20:00.003+08:00

I cant count the emotions derived and constant flowing in me, i can use them.

quote Lucky13

I love them, i want them, but at times which is most of the time, i hate them. I envy something cause their lucky, but i love them, and hate them all at the same time. What am i?

Its either me or something in me but i can't seem to make my mind up. I am a proud person, not egoistic, even though i have just a bit running in me but who doesn't have it in them. I defend what i think is right but i also take knowledge cause "He who learns from all, is wise" quoting from Anonymous obviously. Anonymous was an idol cause he or her derived of those people that was determined in life. Lust for knowledge is never a sin.

I am an honest person, but let my story write itself with a bleach white paper and dark black pen. I was never certain one what i wanted even though i was financially stable. I couldn't buy a new house but a new toy for myself. I had a lot of habits in which i try to suppress my disorder. I would constantly ask my parents who loved me for what i was. They always said "We couldn't have a better son". I love it when they say that, but in the back of my head was paranoia, "what if their saying that cause their forced too".

I had an optimistic childhood, good balance of good and exposure to nonsense. I wasn't innocent, i had hidden some things from my parents cause i didn't want their fragile little boy to be misunderstood for something they never hoped i'd be. I was never the one to get along with for a long time, cause i would accidentally lash out towards my friends. So people never got to me, never understood me, cause i never told them. It wasn't a fever my parents said, but i persisted cause people would give me special treatment, in which i hated terribly.

I remember one single ordeal, that inversely changed this disability and into a plus. I was holding hands with love. She was my soul, my beating heart, my ever understanding friend but she never knew of my personality disorder, why? Because of the fear of losing myself in the midst of rage. I was having an argument with love until i lashed out at her. And right after, my disorder kicked in and save the day. I was honest with her, the first person i told that i had an uncontrollable emotional problem. "Yang, I cant help myself. I suffer from this disorder since i was 5 years old, and i understand if you won't talk to me any more".

I got an unexpected reaction. "You know i would love you if you had a mental disorder, i love you and please don't hide it from me. I want you to be happy, sad and mad at me. Just as long as its from you". I can finally close this curtain with a black blind, for it shines bright and for once i was happy for a few days. I felt no aggression, no neglect from this forbidden society where we would constantly judge. I for once felt like another, it was excitement that supplied the emotions that were positive. This kept going on for about a few months, sure there were times when she was gone, but the thought of her never made me upset. Not for any small reason.

"Deeply in his subconscious, he never realised that the mixed emotion where filling a container, and its almost full"

I was on a beach, minding my own business and wondering where she was. In her defence, she was late for she was busy with problems of her own. I was getting pissed due to the fact that she was late and wasn't polite enough to ring me. My paranoia drove me to think of outrages situation and reasons of why she was late. I was a bubble full of fire, just waiting to be popped.

This could only end in two ways.

1. She arrives to the beach all happy and suddenly i lash out at her for the second time in our whole relationship, I pulled no stop and let her have the rain with the thunder as an additional liquor to already screwed up situation. She reacted by giving me a hug, and kissed me for she felt that it was her fault for only filling him with one emotion. He understood and it was the night that changed my life. Things couldn't get better, my paranoia was no where to be found and i would have full control of what i call my emotional outbursts.

2. She arrives to the beach all messed up and had no reliable reason. She walked up to me and i lashed out at her, sparing no expense to this already derange anger i bestowed upon her. She reacted by slapping me and forcing me to stop imagining things. "Was she out of her mind?". The slap was fire to a flammable substance. I cursed her out of my life, i walked away to at least save what was left of this dying situation. I am now hating the world with every good memory i had with her, for those were indirectly change to bitter memories. So now, this world i live in has no hope or surviving from its own death grip.

Patience is behold to those who wants to see it when they are ready

quote Lucky13

I made my past the foundation on sadness,

I based them on experience of that was selfless,

I limit my sights to only the best of hearts,

Cause I know, they are my guidance to find happiness.

quote Lucky13

I will give my heart and soul into this,

Commitment would never die,

Determination for her happiness never run dry,

As my intentions are pure as an angels halo.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

ShinesBrightly.

Control.

2010-09-27T00:32:00.002+08:00

I will telling the truth about you if you stop telling lies bout me

quote Gordon Gekko

Everything must be perfect, it must be neat or i can't look at it. It must be balanced or else it won't fit the bill. That let to my social problem.

I am a person with only one rule, things must be in order or i won't agree with it. I carefully plan everything to every second of the day. I looked after myself, clean pressed shirt, neat hair and my school books one my right hand. I hated my hair cause it wasn't exactly neat without gel at night, so i decided to go bald at the age of 15. I was a social outcase cause of that small particular thing, but then it was good cause then i wouldn't waste my time, fixing my friends appearance or re-writing their work if i wanted to copy it.

My parents would love the fact that i was punctual no matter what, but hated that i rushed them to be punctual. But i loved them cause they would always bring me to a special psychologist, Dr Richard. A doctor who would actually listen my problems and laugh with at my humourless jokes. He kept me looking forward for those weekends. He diagnosed my personality disorder as Cluster C, obsessive compulsive, avoidant and dependant. I was still under control but i hated people who disturbed me, made fun of how i walk. Its not wrong to walk on only black tiles, I didn't want to make the white ones dirty.

I haven't told Dr Richard tht i've been having these awful thoughts and actions i would like to do when they either bully me or made fun of me. I hated when they would pushed me around during assembly. Then my shirt would be crumpled the whole day, so one day, i carried a knife with me. Justin shoved me but i grab a hold of his hand and stuck the knife at his biceps and twisted him. Everyone saw it, and back away. I cleaned myself up and acted normally. The teachers came up to me and brought me to the Headmasters office. I requested for them to call my parents.

"I hated it when they messed my clothes up" i said to the principle. "You know how long it took me to iron this shirt just so it would look neat, and Justin had to crumple it. Don't worry now he can't do it, cause i knew i hit a nerve" persuaded me to the principal. "I'm going to have to expel you, don't you know that?". I said "Better, so I don't have to sit in this filthy place anymore" while walking towards the door.

My parents told Dr Richard and I heard him say that I getting worse, I might get aggressive, self-defeating and it wouldn't get any better. I rushed into the room and said that I could try to better myself if no one had to bully me. I blame all of you for not giving me a normal childhood. That day, I walked back home and took the long way through the forest. I reflected on myself and how I would try to better myself. The conclusion was that I just needed to avoid everyone, even Dr Richard.

I requested that my parents would give me privacy when I was at home. I developed a few problems, I would look in the mirror twice before leaving my room, I would open the door 4 times before going through it. I wasn't able to stop these constant habits, I would automatically do this without my realisation that it's been done. I stopped all contact with my friends, because even they called me psycho but I tolerated that. I studied on my own everyday from 9am till 4pm and then only eat breakfast. I eventually stopped studying because it was the same book for 5 months.

Now my life is repetitive, I would wake up at 8am to read 10 pages of any book. Eat to slices of French toast. Shower and then look at the mirror for 5 minutes. I cleaned the house for 2 hours. Have lunch at exactly 1pm everyday having the exact same thing, which is a tin of spam. I would read a book till i finish it before having dinner. I would roll in bed for 5 times starting from the left.

I am alone, I was socially outcased, I was abusive towards other and I still am. I decided to admit myself to rehabilitation. I still live here even though I am 29 years old. This is my story and my life of repetition.

The fear of the mirror,

Keeps me wanting for more,

Cause when I see my reflection,

No medication can stop this addiction.

quote Lucky13

I am who I want to be, I am not in a shell but liquid taking shape

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Sociopath.

May I?

2010-09-26T03:11:00.003+08:00

Bottom up i shout to clear my head from this scar

quote Lucky13

I am using rage to fuel this post. So be understanding.

I died to heal.

This could either be short or a long story depending on how good is your imagination. I am not a simple person, i am not those who just wonder the earth with intentions for good. I'm confused with no purpose to live. I am the person who people turns to for help, cause i am reliable, never giving enough credit to himself therefore not happy. I am societies walking stick when they are and aren't sick.

I am the point man in which people go to for help, I am the one who answer peoples cries for help cause my heart is pure and i always see the best in others but not in me. Scenario: A friend is going through a break up and i try my best to distract the situation, i become a hypocrite just to make things better. I lie to both sides and manipulate each word to fit the others need. They get back together and what do i get, forgotten.

I was said from another that i never gave enough much credit to myself, the effort taken for each help given was never was debited to myself. Scenario: I helped a friend get back together with their beloved, but i cant seem to stop and get my life back on course. I am a plain piece of paper in which people write on, but the fact that the paper has no colour is demoralising already. The fact stands and write itself clearer than any piece of glass.

I was never the person for advice until one fateful event that quickly revamped my life and gave me a fresh slate to carry myself on. I was careful and delicate but i guess time never waits for any man. I learned it the hard way through heart break, i regretted it but loved the new mindset at the same time. It gave me more focus but more rage at the world at the same time. I am confused to be short.

Another event that could be recorded in my suddenly changed self was deceit, envy and love all in one single day. Its not a day to remember but its a day of interesting memories for it made me even more of who i fear to become. I am a monster hiding in a shell, once in a while i out grow this shell and find a new one. Once in a while, you can see the rage i hide from everyone as it hurts even those who are innocent or even immune to me.

I plot, plan and deliver my plan so i could finally stop this curse or burden weighing so heavily on my shoulder. Scenario: I would disappear from society, i would reappear. Analyse the situation and see the conclusion which eventually would lead to me disappearing forever. As i would say "I am societies walking stick, the will realize that they won't need me anymore once a permanent cure is found".

I was a doctor who prescribed love and hate at the same time as medicine. Now i haunt those who once used me just to remind themselves that i've had worse. I watched and slowly would make move by living in their shadow. I would wonder in the dreams when they sleep, provoking suicidal thoughts and regret in them. I want them to remember and realize that it was them who needed me just to wake up in the morning with a new meaning in life.

I would let hope guide those who i cherished, loved and cared for. But i always kept a leash to remind them this world we live in isn't so innocent as they hoped. I reminded these people that removed me in their life that without me, they would be lost in their dream and die of a pityful painful death. I wished for them to smile on a bright glittery star but somehow that wish soon faded with every laugher of sin. Innocence in every will soon fade no matter who they are.

I am in every ones mind, in their hearts, whether its their friend who helped them. I am not karma, not God but a friend of faiths. I am their conscience.

Kill the lucky13,

Kiss his grave shut,

Bury him six feet under,

Break his heart to remember.

quote Lucky13

Twisted, demented and confused in which i see no light in the distance,

Lack of faith keeps me shadow in sin and lust for reckless endangerment,

Keep the blood pumping, the mind thinking, so i could jump this fence,

So i could kill myself and never risk loves department.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

PureRage.

Repent.

2010-09-25T03:35:00.002+08:00

What helps relief pain is pain itself

quote Ezza Melina

How people would wish they had a chance for a reset button in life, this is a story of that button.

I lived my life running either from the police or the dealers i owed money. I started this awful habit when i dropped out of school and started hanging out with my older brothers friends. I had wanted to experience on certain recreational drugs such as marijuana, happy-5, ecstasy, cocaine and heroin.

I was invited to this gig and was ask to play the guitar as rhythm. How could i refuse this chance to become famous. Before the show started, i was invited a special jamming session. The band had offered me cocaine mixed with crushed happy-5. They said that this will fuck you up and will destroy all your depression. The fact that it was drugs made me interest enough, so why not try something that would make you happy too right? I snorted a line of that mixture and the feeling kicked in instantly. I was ready to put on a show but the singer was to worried i might steal the show, so then i was offered a cigarette rolled in newspaper. I thought to myself "Maybe the ink would give a special effect, so why the hell not". I was mellow and hyper at the same time through out the whole show and the after party was a killer. More drugs.

I was offered to become the bands official rhythm line and i quickly accepted. I wrote a couple of songs for the band and made them relate my life with full of regret. They refused all of them so i turned the book into a journal. But i had more important things to do like for example: Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday, i would perform in the La' Conrad club. Never missed a special jamming session. The person who supplied the drugs was the club owner who i got closer to for special prices. when he knew of my intentions, he introduce me to the main land distributor. I would have direct access to all sorts of drugs. He had everything except for heroin because he had a general morals especially for those heroin abuser who could never kick that habit. I was happy enough that i could get my drugs for a cheaper price.

At any given time, i would have 4 different drugs on me. I was addicted to it, i missed a few practise session which led me to kicked by the bands, Stonehearts. I couldn't careless due to the fact that i had enough money to supply myself with drugs for almost 3 months. When your high day and night, you realize that the days fly by really fast. Before i knew it, i was borrowing money from my friends, parents and even former band mates. Even that wasn't enough, so i became a local snitch to the police to cut a deal with a corrupted cop. He would give me a pound of any drug for any dealer i had ratted out. I was loving the deal until the point that i deprived the whole state of their dealers. So i turn to him to fix me up, he said that he could fix his problems. I gave me a needle and i knew what to do. Before shooting up, i looked in the mirror and my morals kicked in. My small frame, red eye lids and bloodshot eyes, made me realize that things couldn't get any worse. So i quickly strapped my bicep with a belt and just injected myself with heroin.

This drug made me daring enough to commit any act of crime, stupid or just playing reckless. The one that i remember was the last stunt i pulled, i walked into the police station with my hands cuffed and escorted by a friend who got the uniform from a halloween costume shop. I walked in with the intention of walking into the evidence room and stuff all the drugs i can in my pocket and anus. It was desperate but i could at least get more money selling it to other people and become a distributor to the state. After months of shooting up and faking an arrest, i was caught in the evidence room. The policeman realized i was beyond stoned. So he fired his tazer gun at me but it was enough for him to knock me out. I quickly got up and reached for a knife that i saw in the evidence room. He rushed to me hitting me in the head with his metal baton. I was knocked out.

I woke up after a 3 week comma. I realized that i couldn't feel anything, remember anything and was wondering what was i doing in a hospital with flowers all over. I was told that i suffered from a comma and that i lost most of my memory. When i asked what had happened, no one told me anything. I remember a group of people with tattoo's, piercing's and crazy hair-styles visiting me. They didn't say much but had given me a bottle of liquor and said that it was the best bottle you can own. I wondered why but i heard them whispering something bout alcohol and crushed drugs. I didn't hesitate to drink this green looking water. I was knocked out completely, waking the next day with security outside my door.

The doctors helped me through rehabilitation and told me my whole life story. He said that i was a law abiding citizen who had no affiliations with any gangster or drug dealers. He said "A saint you are and shall always be". When i was welcome back home, i was smothered by my mother whose tears was overwhelming me with fear that i was gone for a long time. I remembered that i was in a comma and that was the only explanation. I saw my room and i had a flash back, it was weird cause i saw very profound vivid images. That night, i slept on the couch cause i was too afraid of this flash backs that was disturbing and tasteless.

One day, i was cleaning my room and getting rid of all my stuff until i found this black leather book which had lyrics apparently. And then a summary at the bottom, my first thought was that i was song writer before i had amnesia but then, the songs were to straight for a song. So my second guess was a story teller, but it had dates at the side until it stopped at 24 feb. So my last and final guess was that i was who ever i was reading about. I spent hours just reading that book entitled, 'Revival'.

No one had learnt of this particular encounter and no one shall ever know about it. I was happy with my life and was happy that i rid was given the reset button most people had hoped for. It was my chance and i took it whether i liked or not.

I drew love in the sky,

You were the wind,

You kept in moving,

But shattering at the same time.

quote Lucky13

Brilliance comes rarely,

Taste perfection slowly,

Deny envy whatsoever,

Love me unconditionally.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Amnesia

Anatomy of a Poetic Murderer.

2010-09-24T02:56:00.006+08:00

Aggression is my obsession for progression.

quote Lucky13

A illusive mask wearing serial murderer. His stories, confessions and his ordeal.

I was rare bread amongst the general population. I was a fast learner and i could anything, whether it was origami or a magic trick with only lesson. I developed this method of observe and repeat the persons actions without a mistake when i was a young spoiled brat. I envied those who were ahead. This is my hypocritical story.

I went to a decent school and scored. Soon after i received a scholarship from to further my studies in the field of medicine. I majored the human anatomy and minored in human intelligence. My studies was simple, study a human being from the inside out. I knew what he didn't need in him, and what was important. I finished my studies with flying colours but made a few enemies in the process.

In University, i was a bit antisocial due to the fact i was focusing on certain books for example; The Strategist, Colours of War and the certain psychology books. My favourite book was Sun Tzu's Art of War, the art of a gentle take over. I wanted to major in literature but the University was afraid that i would a lot to study to they denied my application. I was furious, i threatened the department but i apologised my actions due to a uncontrollable burst of emotions.

I was working in an old Hospital where victims of the World War2 where given aid. I loved the rich history in this hospital but i hated the underground tunnels where they transported goods. The reason being was because the tunnel was unstable, scary and unused for many years. I was head doctor at the Saint Hospital because i had 2 Philosophical Doctor certificates or Ph.D as people would say. I was the doctor on call when a certain operation was needed to be done or a certain homicide case needed to be solved.

After my 15 years reign as head, i was taken over by a person who out witted me. He had a trademark move by showing his right thumb when things went well for him.When this event happened to me, i was 57 years of age and filled a law suit against this person for improper conduct. The case was dismissed because my lawyer was bride and all the evidence was lost. I was an old man fearing the word retirement, but i accepted a job in the pharmaceutical department after applying for it. I would research on the cure for cancer or certain strains of diseases.

My plan was to have a gentle take over and reclaim my post as head doctor. I took months to devise plans for certain people getting my revenge in the process. I started of with my corrupted lawyer. I met him one day in a coffee house wanting to discuss my will if i were to suddenly die. I saw that he had wrote my beach house to be his possession after my death. I asked him to meet me at my office in the hospital. I was determine to have my revenge in the most calmest manner. I secretly slipped Rohyphenol or Roofies as its common known into his tea.

I woke him up with Epinephrine or Adrenaline where he realised that he was a small tunnel with only one source of light, which was the headlamp i was wearing. I tied him up one a stretcher exposing him chest. My first intention was to inject him with more adrenaline so that he would no pass out for his procedure. I broke his breast plate with a hammer and a scalpel to expose his heart. The amount of blood rushing out was beyond any surgery i had made but i kept going on. I showed him his heart and said "This is for screwing my life up, corruption is a bitch". I left his chest open and buried him alive in a wooden box with a huge smile from ear to ear.

I diverted my attention to the doctor who took my job. He was the one that i was saving for last. I had done the same thing to him as my i did to lawyer. I drugged him to bring him to the WW2 tunnels. I was careful to take my time with him ask i wanted to savour every moment. I was very poetic about his procedure.

First, I slowly chopped his right thumb and said "I love it when you show me this thumb, now i can show it to you". I sewed his thumb back on. Remember, i didn't inject him with any drug to relief the pain cause i wanted him to endure the pain that he inflicted on me when i lost my job. I sewed his lips together cause his voice was annoying to me, "I loved it when you gave speeches to the undergraduates, but i was annoyed by it at the same time". I used a hole puncher and punched holes in his eyes so when he closed them, light would still come in. The plus side was also that blood went into his eyes everytime he blinked. But the best was when i used a blunt knife and cut his head open. It exposed his brain to me, i would take certain pieces leaving his primary sensory such as nerve, visual, auditory and his somatosensory. Why you ask i did this, i replied with this question, "Where's the fun when he cant feel, see or hear what i inflict on him". "Now i shall mess with your mind and leave you to die" said i with laughing at his pitiful cries. I left him alive but did not bury him as i had planned something. I was careful to leave no evidence but a letter saying "Thank you for the doctor".

After a week of unreturned calls, and a police report filed for the missing doctor, the share holders have decided to put in charge as i was most responsible. I had thought of a plan for a person to accidentally fine his body in the tunnels without putting to much unwanted attention towards myself. I suggested to expand the morgue to more colder location so that the bodies will not decompose faster and that the tunnel was the extra space. The share holders agreed on this ingenious idea i had. So a contractor had to survey the tunnel and he found the body as planned. A full investigation was filed and that i was needed to determine the cause of death or Forensic Pathologist as its called. I had wrote an exact step by step report of my own procedure on him. I laughed at the irony that i was his murderer and his forensic pathologist.

I am now 73 years old and having plans of retiring for my son to become head doctor. I am a poet, murderer, pathologist and happy man in that order.

Let rain wash the blood under your finger nails.

quote Lucky13

I cant figure whether a cat or rat,

Would be casing each other for,

I am cat casing my rat,

Casing my dream and pin it to the floor.

quote Lucky13

I wish upon a wishing star,

Just wondering how far you are,

No distance to great,

No limit to break.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

MedicalMe.

Solitude.

2010-09-23T03:26:00.002+08:00

Star fell accordingly, thats when wishes do come true.

quote Lucky13

His reality is not what it seems and his dreams control him, i Schizo patient with a possessive obsession of control towards mind. This is his story, or his dream.

Every patient remembers his first delusion, it was when i was walking on burnt charcoal and heard a demonic scream. His shoulder was bearing a tremendous load, his eye dried cause of heat from the ground. He wonders off into revert animation, its either i'm sleep walking or discovered a new portal to a certain level of hell. I saw mountains of bodies, rivers of blood and heard deafening shouts for help. I soon enough woke up, not realizing the difference between reality and a paranoid subconscious.

I would have the same dreams for days, waking up in my own pool of sweat. I started thinking of disturbing images like: The end of days with torture being the meal of the day, a disfigured child having sweet revenge towards his drug abusing mother and the images of the Anti-Christ in everyones shadows. I would speak clearly, then preached of an upcoming event, predicting everyones future within a blink and mutter till i had a seizure. My mum noticed the difference by the glare of my eyes, me screaming at everyone who touched me. The doctor diagnosed with Schizophrenia due to the high levels of dopamine in my mesolimbic pathway.

My whole world change that day, but the sudden realization of me getting away of murder is somehow disturbing but pleasing at the same time. I was insisted to be admitted to the loony bin but i threatened to burn it down the first day i got there. I was a flight risk, got pulled out of school, less contact to the outside world cause of my sudden outbursts towards civilians. Whether it was beating them senselessly because they claim to be Lucifer or seeing ghost in the middle of the day. When i was in my neutral state of mind, I heard that the possibility of cure was not to be hoped for. I turned red the world was victim, i nearly killed a man working in a convenient store cause he looked at me wrong.

I had no interest in pleasing anyone, whether its my ill-hearted mother or the priest that tried to bless me and rid of the devil me. I would curse at them for touching me or even smile at me. I saw their smiles as a big sign that says "I'm gonna kill you tonight". My paranoia got the best of me, it drove me crazy. I would lock myself in my room with no food or light and just reflect on my visions. It would be the same dream everytime, an eclipse follow by Armageddon and the Race war that would rid of the world population to a small number in the millions. I drew my depictions or wrote of them.

My world was behind a wall with nothing entering my mind, no knowledge processable its not what i heard but what i wanted to hear to relief me. Stubborn, wreckless, indecisive, paranoid and delusional was my brain process that made me pull my hair till i was bleeding from scalp. I would savor every drop of blood as a gift from myself to myself to satisfy myself. I never saw myself curable and somehow i was happy and confused.

The mind is a game in which you are the host, player and cheater.

quote Lucky13

Misreading gestures integrates me,

I break down with shattering consequences,

Whether manner was right nor wrong,

I see the right in every wrong possible.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

PatrioticSchizophrenic.

Hero.

2010-09-22T00:12:00.004+08:00

No words i can use, to express this loneliness.

quote Lucky13

Now i cant say kicking the habit is easy, cause it isn't. I write this to let everyone know the difficult life of a junkie.

Every time i get excited just looking at Smurf when he heats up the batch and usually i insist on injecting it myself cause then i cant blame him for anything. Smurf is a funny character, born and raised here in the lands. He earned his nickname cause one time, he choked on a meatball and turned blue. He would never turn down a potential customer, he has his moral line tho, don't overdose at his place. His a nice guy to begin with, i would do things just to score with him and get free stock.

I love watching the syringe digging into my skin, pull the stopper mixing blood in the process and finally watch this lovely cocktail rush into me. The fun only starts when i loosen the belt, after that, all hell breaks loose. I was making love to the judge, jury, executioner, dominatrix, victim, homosexual and even myself. Imagine the best orgasm you've ever had, times it by a million and it still wont cut the cheese. I would constantly get orgasms one after another.

I didn't come from a fancy big shot lifestyle with money to burn. I came from a broken home, never met me mum and a perverted dad. I would catch that sick fuck watching me bath. I know i'm the only girl in the family but i think i knew why me mum left. In Her Majesties Land, there aren't many families living in poverty, but the ones who do are not getting any better. We struggle to finish the day and then start all over again in the bloody morning.

I found solitude one night, while partying at this club uptown near the docks. A friend invited me for a special kind of sex, he injected me and i was hooked. I spent my savings for college in just 4 months, it was worth every penny. I sometime ended up in the hospital handcuffed to the bed with Old Bill standing outside writing a report. I was in rehab for couple of times, where i met Smurf. We ran from rehab and now live in a condemned building in the slums of Lancaster. I would go to the main land where i met friends. They would see me either working in a restaurant, or the cleaners where i would steal clothes or even at the clinic to steal some prescription slips and syringe for Smurf.

My figure shouts junkie, my eyes are a constant bloodshot and my hair is falling. But when its the syringe and me, the whole world can get fucked for i care. I am at piece when i see this mixture going in me. The expression is surpass words, incomparable to anything amazing. But all things must come a abrupt end at some point. The after effect is what i would call the Pit from Hell when Smurf asks me what stage am i in. It forces me to reflect on my current predicament, makes me realize that this life is not a long one.

I will one day kick the habit but not anytime soon, maybe when the doctors catches me stealing slips, or when i die. Till the day i'm six feet deep, i shall shoot heroin for it is my hero and my heroin.

Addiction drives itself into an bottomless pit,

Auto-pilot uncompromisingly engaged,

Nothing stands in between me and a hit,

Not even the feeling of being loved.

quote Lucky13

We usually define ourselves as pure as long as the subconscious agrees with it, think about it.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

AddictsKick.

Balance.

2010-09-21T00:31:00.002+08:00

I say a lie for your safety, I tell you the truth, just cause i know its the only way

quote Lucky13

Here's a story with a guideline to the mystery, be smart, use the riddle for the summary, and the mystery for the story.

Ever since the day i could remember, I would label others but life, being a common hypocrite, would not let others label me. My ego was above all and i would deny it but the truth is that i wanted to be first in everything, would not accept defeat for it shows weakness in my armor. I know i'm not well privileged and i cant own the finer things in life. I am now working man of 27 years old with a stable pay and a loving girlfriend.

I was close to 2 friends, i labelled them truth and lie. I would hate truth for being honest but love him for the same reason. I loved lie for it brings me interesting dilemmas but hated the fact i preferred it more than truth. I still remember one small event in my life but thats not important, not yet anyways.

I hated egoistic people as they would get in my way, truth. But they would tell you lies that cant be seen to slow you down. My girlfriend was a modest tolerating person, she would love me for a being an ass but hate the fact i called her names once we had a big fight. She knows i'm a person that can make the situation better, lie. I would always talk to her, she was my private psychologist, my lover, my bestfriend, my safe box and my dream. We knew each other since we were 12 and dated after high school, soon after we stayed at her house in Langkawi, truth.

We ran away from our parents, our friends, truth. And our problems too, lie. It followed us cause i was the problem, but I have no ego, lie. She would accuse me of coming home drunk and smelling of cigarette smoke, but i was at Seafood restaurant closing a deal with a firm, lie. She couldn't see through my lie, truth for now.

Remember the story i was delayed up top? Here it goes, i was a flight risk for not being honest with everyone, truth. I would say many things and not deliver. Over the years, i developed a flawless way of lying and not realize that difference between truth and lie when speaking. But when i hear, i know the rhythm, the method of breathing, the eye contact, the hand movement, and the stance needed for a person to pull a perfect lie. I would study them and see their balance of each trait. I had become a lie detector but was blinded to see that i wasn't detecting myself.

My girlfriend wasn't a bad liar, she would keep eye contact, fake a tear and then rush to my shoulder, truth. I would love her effort for trying but i would say "You can tell me anything and i won't be mad no matter". I sedated her with that line everytime and the truth sip our sooner or later, lie.

I haven't been honest with myself; Fact1. i am a man who earns, but by lying to others bout investing in me and then run away with their money, but i would only ask for those who had millions. How i do i know this, when you have ego, you have a mindset. Reading a person was a easy sly deal. Fact2. I have another girlfriend who knows of my wealth but does not know i have another woman, truth. Fact3. I have been living an honest mans life, partially truth, cause i would only take a certain amount every year, give myself bonuses.

I am who i am cause i write myself high and mighty cause i am entitled to do so. I know my life is perfect, lie. I wish i would stop my horrid ways, lie. I cant say that i am happy with my life but then that would be a lie, truth. The risk factor for every con made is what keeps me going, truth. Who are you to judge. Do i block every nonsense coming from those procrastinators, no, why? Because i let my ego do it for me.

A thin line separates truth from lie, sometimes it becomes blurry, but who notices your mental health?

quote Lucky13

I keep my friends close,

The truth closer,

My hearts desire closest,

So lies are what lies in my heart.

quote Lucky13

It does not take a man,

Just the mind,

Sane or not,

It paints portraits of words.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

TruthorLie

Psychopathic.

2010-09-19T03:40:00.004+08:00

How you would sacrifice, in order to compensate

quote Lucky13

Love has no boundaries, it can involve an unwilling participant to endure with the imperfections. But that might be the reason why you love him.

Since i was young, i hear screaming from downstairs, i rush down but my brother insists me and sister we stay inside our rooms. It was all natural until one day he locked the door, for a second i had realize that tonight was different. The screaming stopped once i here tyres rolling away fast. My brother went down stairs and only came up once the ambulance drove away. I cried asking why, my baby sister was holding her teddy bear holding my brother's and my hand. I can't forget the picture.

Soon after that i lived in an orphanage where i constantly get bullied by other kids but i stuck with my brother and sister. One day, Yun, my sisters nickname, was adopted leaving me and my brother in the orphanage. We grew up in there because no one wanted to adopt a 16 and 10 year old boy. So we watched each others backs just to survive.

I love the memory of the day i graduated from University doing psychology, it meant i could help others but that memory was quickly saddened by the death of Bang, my brothers nickname. He was a statistic in a road accident, which upsets me. I would pay my respects every time with Yun. One day, i went there alone, as i was wondering looking at each tombstone curious of who i might find. I found someone that made me tear up, it was mummy. This quickly revamp me into childhood memories where i would hide under the bed with Yun while my brother waited beside the door.

After crying at the grave, i wanted to help people who had domestic problems. It was an unofficial type of service. I would charge them free of charge, i would make more orphans, but as long as the memory of me hiding could be relived. I loved it when they call me not expecting what they deserve, i just wish my step dad could see what drives me to do what i do. He would be proud, i hope.

One day, i knew my day job would allow me meet some people to at least earn income, but i never thought i would meet the love of my life. She was on therapy because of some drug related problem. One day as i left my day job to do my night job, i felt i was shadowed by a persons. I quickly tried losing them and i hoped i did.

This couple was a typical child abusing parent who deserved to be abused mentally and physically. I remember this moment cause it was special not due to murders but cause of the person i met. As i left the house Patient189 was staring at me, i quickly smothered her with my blood covered hands transferring it to her lips. I gazed at her eyes to see her reaction. I brought her back to my place and bought her silence for free dosage of vicodine. She stared at me with passion as i was kind enough to keep her warm. We both rushed at each other with great romance and made love very violently.

'The Domestic Killer' was my name in the papers, and it stated there were no leads what so ever. I felt immune to the law. I stopped my frenzy as to spend more time with 189, but the passion was slowly dying.

The only way to keep the romance flaring was to ask her to watch me kill. One day, i helped a couple resolve their situation but no realizing it would be my last day living. The neighbors heard screaming apparently. I was distracted by 189 as she would hold my hand in stabbing while bitting my lips. We heard sirens closing by.

"Yun don't follow my steps, i'm sorry for everything i hope, you'll still love me baby sis" i said on the phone to Yun. I kissed 189 and stabbed her in chest. I slit my hand for a more slower and calm death. I realized, i wanted the memories to be lived, i wanted to walk the steps and stopped my parents from fighting. I regret nothing as my life is perfect cause of the love and sad balancing act.

Yun side; She was always receiving gifts from me, and she knew that it would be victims jewelry. But she loved me too much to see me in jail cause she knew that my childhood wasn't perfect. She grew up becoming a pre-school teacher with 3 kids, and a loyal loving husband.

For a bloodshot smile,

I would kill for a mile long grin,

For a imperfect life,

I use the other end of a knife.

quote Lucky13

Staring at her eyes made me the world with no pain and suffering, I was only blinded not shielded.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

PerfectKarma.

Reactions.

2010-09-18T03:26:00.004+08:00

Seize the moment, capture the scene, trap the memory, forgive and forget.

quote Lucky13

How awful is it to meet someone with your interest in an unlucky scene or venue. Like getting your license without a car to drive. Such an inconvenient pleasure i would say. So the story goes like this in reality.

I walk through the glass window doors and started thinking of who actually invented the automatic door sensor was either lazy or smart to ease congestion. I wonder till i get to the counter to check-in. Then i started wondering but how travelling made things easier for our generation.

Once i was knocked to reality, i just remembered how the was feeling to study at Aussie. The gatherings i had in my room with my mates, either drinking or just relaxing. As i sit at outside reading 'The Joys of Stress' by Dr. Peter Henson while smoking my cigarette. I see this girl walking through the door looking almost lost.

I walked up to her and said "Waiting for a friend to arrive?" not realizing the amount of luggage she carried. "I can't find the check-in counter, where it is?" she said. After conversing and then helping her around the airport. We had a smoke outside and she asked where i was from, i said "Local". "I'm backpacking through Asia just for the experience" she answered when i asked the same question.

We quickly clicked cause of our common interests. Then i had a sudden realization, "Shit, i think i like her". She had the same look in her eyes when we stared for minutes at one point. We went at the side of the airport for a more romantic setting and we made out passionately.

We quickly parted ways once i had to board my flight. She followed me into the terminal holding my hand, and leaning on my shoulder. I kissed her just before the final check-point. I blew her a flying kiss and wondered if i could skip this flight but it would irrational as she too had a flight of her own in an hour. So i walked with an amazing but yet sadly feeling pressing down against me.

I ran back out to see her there and asked whether she wouldn't mind if i flew to Hawaii to spend more time with her. She said "No love". I asked why thinking of maybe a reasonable answer and what i got was "Love, what we had was special but face facts, you live so far away and i'm sure things won't work out". The fact that the effort wasn't there was hurtful enough, so i just accepted the fact that she missed out on love and just sat in seat crying.

Her side of the story; She was a player who fed on the emotions of guys. She was saving herself for her highschool sweetheart back home, that too was emotionally unstable cause of her.

Waking up everyday is a risk itself, portray yourself facing decisions

quote Lucky13

The truth,

Its a story worth hearing,

But it too is a sword that cuts both ways,

So be cautious if you are pursuing it.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

JoysofStess

Solo-ution.

2010-09-17T03:42:00.004+08:00

Dating a loaded gun is exciting, so is playing Russian roulette

quote Lucky13

This isn't a story based on real events, its a story i wrote when i think of love, its for awhile but it leaves a scar.

We wonder how happiness actually affects behavior, sudden realization tends to spoils the happiness. But it amplifies sadness, so don't think when your happy, just feel it.

As i sit on my stool staring at the snow covered trees, i keep thinking about her. I am determined to do it this time, i'm sure of it. She is finally happy with the situation, i am content to do this act just because i wanna die happy. I take a handful of sleeping aid mixing it with a cocktail. As i suddenly realize that my life will flash before me, i read the things i wrote for you.

Oh shit, i feel light headed, numbness in my chess, the room is spinning, i quickly fall with the letters in my hand crashing into the night stand. I said in my mind ' I'm sorry if i never could make you happy again, i'm glad my friend brings you happiness'. And then, darkness.

I wake up, it was like a hang over, wait. Why are there needles in me, why am i strapped to the bed, i started crying of this cruel heaven. Then a man with a flashlight rushes into the room and check my pupils and say sir, how are you? I answer, did i succeed. He injected me with something that quickly made me sleepy. I woke up next to the window thinking, this is a mental institute. I shout, "WHY, why am i here" with tears running down. Suddenly i see her.

She was crying by just looking at me, she said "Why love, WHY?! Why do this to yourself, i loved you but i was just not happy at the fact you didn't'. She stopped and cried on my shoulder, her tears soaking into my white shirt. The doctor came by asking "Did you tell him yet miss?". I stare at love and ask "What wrong?". She said "The pills nearly killed you, I saw you on the floor with your rolled back, so i called the ambulance. They tried saving you". I abruptly stopped her and said "SAVED?". She said that the doctor pumped my stomach but the pills kicked in too fast for them to save me. Now my heart is very weak and i have an estimated time to live.

I suddenly get tunnel vision, quickly followed by a thump to the head. I have fainted. I woke up to find myself in new clothes in bed with a Love sleeping on the couch. I moved to her side, kissing her gently to savor the moment, then i suddenly teared, realizing the situation. I would die to see her happy, and when she is happy, i am dying, life can't be more sarcastic.

I just laid on her lap, thinking but soon i was fast asleep. I was suddenly woken up with a sharp pain in my chest, i pressed the red button and a nurse rushed in. She said not worry, its just your heart trying its best to pump blood. I knew i didn't have much time, I knew what i must do. I had plan an evening with Love to let the memories die so it could be cherished better. I had mention to her about my plans, she said "Sure thing dear".

So i had the evening set in the common room next to the big window where I had first met her after my incident. I was excited till my chest was in pain, i waited while my heart started throbbing feeling me with adrenaline. I looked at watch that was dusty, and she was late. Suddenly, i couldn't breathe, i collapsed, and my heart hurt more than usual. I fell of chair. On the floor, i was determine to call her, so i crawled to the nearest phone, then sudden darkness.

Her side of the story; She was running late due to a date which I had introduced to Love. She was only at the main door when i was dialing her number.

The last words you say, might not be important, but it does mean something.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Suicide101

Whiskey to Whiskers.

2010-09-15T04:42:00.001+08:00

We sometimes lead instead of follow for some unknown proof that we can better ourselves with another rhythm.

quote Lucky13

I sometimes stand thinking of what should be done, or think of what needs to be done but in fact the solution to this problem is easier played instead of planning. Subliminal messaging our minds to do good when the core is born to rebel against mask wearing hypocrites. We see liars but we can't just point fingers, evidence is key to this investigative series. We simply can't ask others to believe without showing the smoking gun or the blood covered gloves.

We are victims of our procrastination, we dictate our subconscious, we force our mind to think before act. That limits the adrenaline, a natural addiction and sometimes indirectly forces us to go 'Cold Turkey'. Therefore killing us slowly with a boring and unnatural death. Lick the wall, kiss the veil, french the banner, do whatever it takes, don't forget, tales come back to bite.

A wire of lies, a line of cocaine, a string of deceit, a decaying drama, we remember the black clouds of the endless rain.

quote Lucky13

Summer dances with envy,

As the weight falls like an anvil,

We realize that courage beyond gravity,

Is sometimes crazy.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

MajorColonelBacon.

Paraless.

2010-09-02T23:18:00.002+08:00

Better things in life i want, she says she deserves better.

quote Lucky13

Motion sickness, lies from a washed up prom queen, her Pom Poms stained with glitter and mud. He was drunk and she was willing, they were having and the stalker started dreaming. A knife to the temple, a scream soon follows with the sudden silence that gives you goosebumps. A murderer with no motif but the grin that shows Bob with strike once more.

Based on a fiction flick, the world we live in has an opposite with dark alley setting, murderers persona and a knife welding serial killer. Like the character, i have no motif of doing what i do, its just that i'm good at it. But even a doctor does not prescribe his own medicine. He too like most, seeks help.

I see shadows strolling the park in the midnight light, i see breathe being taken but no one there. I hear whistling but theres not figure, I cough and someone says bless you. Its not the figment of my imagination but the serial killer, we meet in this lonesome dark alley for a diplomatic solution. Killing and writing seems to be the same, only difference is there is no life lost when expressing my side while he shows art in a form of blood.

I watch as he expresses his form of art, I laugh at the pitiful face his victim makes. I show him how true art is formed and he being unstable, laughs at the thought of meaningful literature. A shallow pool i sank into, i must not make him angry for i may be a victim of the 'Performer'. So i gracefully laughed with him and making fun of my work. 'We are both Leonardo at heart' said I. A small gesture but still a sign of good faith from him lets me breathe normally again.

Since that day, i never met the 'Performer' until one day i saw him in an art gallery. I thought to myself, 'has he gone legit?'. I looked closer to his work, the victims he once tortured, this was their blood but expressed in a proper manner. Everyone is praising a serial killer for his art. The studio smells of blood and mud.

The courage to stand for his work, inspires me till today. Serial killer is a title like a Prime Minister or a Manipulator. But he wanted to noticed for his art work in a different perspective.

Meaning; We can do as we like, people might not like it, but make sure they see all angles of this story to find the missing swan.

Poetry can be expressed,

Like a tailor making a dress,

Whether its a fit with zip,

Or a busted lip.

quote Lucky13

Stop looking thru the magnifying glass

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Gloryglory

Salvation.

2010-08-30T00:46:00.003+08:00

We forget our differences, put down our arms, for peace will solve most of the issues

quote Lucky13

What is left of this world is what we need to salvage for our future. We can't leave it to hopes and assumptions, make the effort to reconcile our demons within. Keep history from disappearing, keep the past from returning.

Another concept of this meaningful word is finding redemption or trying to salvage what is left from that miserable thing you call life. We can't salvage the situation cause its pointless and reckless, leaving to many hearts to bleed out and cry. Why suffer so much when there are better things.

Speed is my adrenaline, anger is my fuel, love is my misery

quote Lucky13

What is better than romance? The glance over your shoulder looking at that person you have that ever lasting crush right. Take a chance, we live once. If rejected, don't salvage, go on and meet other fishes.

Rejection is what reminds us that were human

quote Lucky13

It is wise to keep quite, it is wiser to listen.

quote Lucky13

Every move is recorded,

energy needed is provided,

Eternity is fragile once forgotten,

Love is everlasting once remembered.

quote Lucky13

Anger.

2010-08-30T00:21:00.002+08:00

Destiny is a plain paper, You are the ink.

quote Lucky13

We see happiness in every curb of that grey pavement, whether its a kid getting ice cream or a couple hands. Once in this bubble, even rain won't get them yet, smiles are their sun. But why do we count on this single emotion to make ourselves satisfied?

When worlds collide, they need some chemistry and the law of attraction must play a role in this ever complicated science equation. By product is happiness, reagent is anger. We need ourselves to realize that things aren't picture perfect so we can't force them. Shattering consequences.

Keep your face to the sunshine, so you can't see the shadows quote Helen Keller

Keep your faith in the light, so no one can corrupt you angel quote Lucky13

Words are characters that make up a sentence. Your word is love that makes my world

quote Lucky13

What are the necessary guidelines to this ever changing society where animals are above all? We can't be Sid, we must be fair, tolerance plays a big role to keep the guns locked nicely. But we like mayhem, better things our lives. If we talk about fair, we challenge fate, we can't change its outcome but we can certainly use it for our profit.

Grip your fist, do you feel that power you grasp? What remarkable power you hold, its not a pen on a plain sheet but brute force. We can change with this but its like Hitler, your a dictator, gentle but rough.What i'm saying is that we want control but we need to be gentle first, then only rough for that is that best way to command and conquer.

Skull caped misery, plain sight over glancing the landscape, its close but far.

quote Lucky13

We use anger, for that is our fuel,

For something better than revenge,

Even better than war that we wage,

But inspiration for a better picture.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Faithiswar.

Dreams

2010-08-17T00:30:00.003+08:00

Can i stop dreaming of a better future?

quote Lucky13

We now need this remark to be remembered as it proves that only hope are those optimist that cant wait anything more better than a bee sting by his or her ex. But why want the attention from a person that cant live with you?

We want something better than our past, if we can, we will rewrite it.

quote Lucky13

Only looking in anger fuels the diesel of revenge that if harnessed, can do biblical damage to all those who you cherish. Do we want that burden in our hands, get it out my mind. We tower over others to find leverage and then pull that favor we have been waiting for to change the deck of cards.

What are we trying to prove? That lies are sometimes better than the truth, thats like telling her that she was the guy for now. So were you the person to be or something better? Only the breathe of fresh air can clear the minds of fullish acts.

Look at the brightest star, i won't lie, its as special as you'll ever be.

quote Lucky13

If love as people say is special then why does it have a good streak of bringing bad events to humanity? Why do couples throw their baby away? Cause of love and passion? Simple, why do we have so many broken hearts? Cause we don't have the second piece to this almost simple puzzle called love. In other words, we haven't found true love.

I do this cause of the fuel,

Of the passion that drives my never cry for sympathy,

I do this cause of the burden,

Which kills the smile i present.

quote Lucky13

Jupiter's

2010-07-28T01:29:00.002+08:00

In this contest there's only one winner, so being a runner up to last doesn't help the contestants. You said no strings could secure you, but the only reason you picked him was he provided a sense of security. Others wait for that que of lies, so a point could be brought up. Why cause so must heartache, good sportsmanship should be practiced in all matters.

Never hope for the sun after a rainy day, only the surprise of rainbows that smiles

quote Imani Jayos.

Take thy for granted, only karma will take thy for granted

quote Lucky13

So what happens if the person you like or love takes you to be plan b? We can only dream that she changes plan rite. Don't be to fond of that idea, she makes you plan A then changes to plan c. We can only expect from an indecisive is plans and plans that changes as fast as her feelings change.

We don't intend for heartbreak but thats the best conclusion other than saying I love you

quote Lucky13

"Hope dangles on a string like slow spinning redemption" quote Dashboard Confessions. What i can understand is that hope is close to redemption. We achieve the goals of hope as many times as redemption but we get as many hopeful events as revengeful thoughts. So let it slip away.

We can bruise the heart, we can break hearts as people would say it. Why go through so much trouble just to love another, we are given choices are we not says the first party. We are give the choice of choosing plans, but we might be plans for plan b. The rule of scandals, never get hooked on. I made a mistake by using my emotions to guide me in blind love, i failed miserably. Lesson was that use gestures, not words and let loved on figure the next move.

I love you,

I know of certain plans,

I still love it that i'm plan b,

I hate the fact that you divide my love.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Fire&Flames.

Life.

2010-07-20T23:52:00.002+08:00

No matter how fast your are, death is just a step behind you.

quote lucky 13

So does it matter if we aim high? Would we be happy once you see that in the clouds, are just instruments of gentle harmonics? Greed is our biggest sin, because of envy, and lust challenges our pride. So what is the benefit if we were to aim high? To land on the skies you say? Then why disappoint yourself for not achieving your goal? We have our natural tendencies. Which is our flaws which makes us virtually imperfect, and thats why we aim high to compensate for our defects.

One day, lies are the only truth a priest would tell you, and that day would be the day tears dry up and you become a human being embracing this corruptible world. We are ponds in societies chess game. We make a move and black retaliates by eating another friend. Sacrifice is what its called, we need it to live, love and make sure we never regret past decisions cause it only keeps us from progressing in this ever changing climatic world.

We shed our skin to hide our true nature, so others accept our fake side but for whats it worth, maybe there would be no regrets? We can only hope that we never lose our true nature cause we would be lost souls if we lost our identity. Listen to that particular melody, if it helps you sleep at night, tell lies to yourself to sleep soundly but never tell others what the motif was for.

We kissed,

We lie,

We can still live,

For that special lover?

We only live for each other, when everything else is a dream

quote lucky13

We find it in the darkest places, we nurture it, we love the idea of it, thats hope.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

SolidMemories.

Lies

2010-07-13T23:41:00.002+08:00

Ever imagined how snails transfer shells? Ever imagined your ex with someone new? Ever imagined that smile that lasted for days.

We need some confirmation to be loved.

quote lucky13

Lifes a prison and those who was in prison were living something called life but a whole different territory all together. We need freedom to get some certification that we mean something to someone. We want to be accepted by life for what? Thats why were in this prison with no bars.

I need a song to express my every gesture cause everything is related. Relation is something that can't be bought or faked. The fact of the matter is that relation keeps the karma at a level which even humans can control. Plus minus things out of your life but think back. Its all balance by karma, the vigilante of coincidence.

Missing in action plays an awesome endless fluid of rhythm. Just another man showing talent to world. We all have talents that we don't treasure cause were not acknowledged by it. Like the chorus of life, its nice but not a lot of people realizes the true meaning. We want confirmation so we can be loved.

I walk everyday, and with every step, i look back

quote lucky13

Now the joy of stress relates to our ever aging bodies in which no medicine on earth can stop. We can't stop a weather storm but we can look at the bright sides of it. So to every upset, the sun is just a little further than expected. So before you start crying be thankful to such monumental coincidence that things do happen for a reason.

Like every solo, theres and ending to it and there was two that made whole.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Wait.

Bine

2010-06-29T03:02:00.002+08:00

A collection of pages held by adhesive glue which hold everything for a long period of time, smoke to smokers lungs, drugs to a junkie, alcohol to an alcoholic. We get driven by this certain invisible adhesive that brings society, like the World Cup.

Love everything, not just one thing

quote lucky13

We expect the best out of everything, we want everything in this world that's full of hope but there no space for honest souls for they might be the only way through for hypocrites. In life, there's a door to anything, we just need to trample over those who stand in the way. We aren't as honest as we think we are.

Over these past years of sudden realization, i have concluded that even the nicest person will have a day that they would enjoy being rude. We get what we want by stepping on others and we do enjoy it but where are the ethics to this simple gone to? Push a person to a fight or fly moment and the adrenaline kicks in and the same person you once new will turn power crazy.

Relive the memories and your future dissipates

quote lucky13

We've waited so long for something,

If you saw the world thru these eyes,

Lurking discoveries,

Agonizing happiness.

quote lucky13

Pass the mic to the world knowledgeable person and ask for the map to happiness, he would give you an empty piece of paper and say "This task is for you and only you". So we would need to plan for happiness you ask? No. We need to root out from it, make tequila with lemon if we were presented with lemon. We make the best of a bad situation. We make the effort for others, thats the first class thinking and not the usual thinking.

Have you ever had that feeling of euphoria by just looking at a persons eyes, that when you realize her smile is even better, you in love

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

InthisTrap

Library

2010-06-20T03:49:00.002+08:00

Remember the story of that rugby player that got jealous of his own team mate, 7 months has gone so fast. Hear the comes the rain again.

I write this not to express my freedom but that feeling i cage in me. This aching emotion that slows a man as far as the imagination stretches. Hear comes the rain again. We all have our kryptonite. We all have a special ending to from a bad beginning. We miss the opportunities at times but once realised, we grasp reality with firm hands and lose ends cause who doesn't love a bit of danger.

I watch everyday everyone changing like the moon, which might disappear, it might smile, it might be whole, as long as the moon is there, that's my friend when thing go wrong. Pick yourself up and stand on solid ground. Its not a superhuman analogy but an unnatural thing to say for obvious things should no be repeated. Hear comes the rain again.

Inspire me to do better things, inspire to lead a better life. I can't come back home to that misery. I can't lie to myself wishing its still there to inspire me. We are all hostages of our own mistakes, we need to be brave and take action of our future. Help yourself for it can it be that saviour you long call for and never reply.

My passions is to lead a straighter road, my dream is to walk on cloud 9 again like before, even if it was in a bed of lies. My wishes is smile like i the first i met this cute smile.

I coming home, I won't want you to remember me cause it can bring back more pain than pleasure. My hearts burst into fire, screaming for insanity streaks to strike again cause it has no logic like life.

Sincerely,

RationsThis

Serpent Chronicles

2010-06-15T00:51:00.003+08:00

So now the key to success is over coming the odds stacked against you.

quote lucky13

Disclaimer; Kiss the red stars and you will be that diamond in the sky.

The origins of success; is succeeding no matter whoever's head gets trampled on. True corruption lies the loose ends that wasn't tied. Bring them to the gallows, even those who they speak to, that's a lot of work. Its true that it's long to just do it the honest way, it's true that you might not succeed, perseverance through and through.

Okay, i'm not on cloud 9 but I am definitely loving Tertiary level. It's not easy, tutorials, classes till 5pm at times but life gives you lemon, break out the tequila and salt quote Lara's Friend. Life can throw a fit, who ever said winning the world cup was easier when facing 5 time winner Brazil?

There are many theories towards everything in life, I never know whether it's officially proven but those are theories aren't they. No I am not going to discuss the origins of theory but it's nice hearing every point of view. If the evidence points that it has whiskers, it meow's, it's a descendent of the king of the jungle; odds are it's a cat right?

For every breath we grow weaker and stronger in different manners.

quote lucky13

Okay okay, so now i'm saving up for a new phone and if there's room, a new laptop possibly, I won't be greedy. We follow our needs, like now I need a new phone that would not off on its own from time to time. I wanna elevate my status from a sony to nokia but in style ;)

Love is something that won't live next to me but I can live it for some people, I can give hope to those losing sight of the light. It's true, we feel the sudden rush of vertigo when were nervous, swinging to the music and follow that beat. I'm sure we can all survive in this jungle we call society.

Check her out, wow, where she from? I don't know. Hi. Bole berkenalan? Yes that's smooth cause it's said then done right. Reality is better said than proven, everyday people prove their ego causing all kinds of emotions.

We live in a destructive world,

we live in this jungle we call society,

For we will eventually kill each other,

For the sake of others.

quote lucky13

Love is my pet in which I can't tame for who tames it can only Cupid

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Luckybullshit

Backspace

2010-06-04T00:05:00.002+08:00

Here's a lame quote;

The world is my apple and your the worm, you eat it up

quote lucky13

Now;

Falling in love is when she cries to you, sleeps in your arms and wakes up in your dreams

quote lucky13

Even though its been a long time since things ended, I finally moved on, I still hear her voice echoing in my ears for reasons I can't explain. She says, what she says to me in repetition. I'm not going psychotic cause I know when I turn mental, i'll be a progressive alco. So like BFMV sings; Her Voice Resides.

Are you happy when you look in the mirror? Do you want that person to change? Is it the crucial that it happens cause if you think that way, check yourself 10 years tonight. That person is the base of your character, mistakes made, decisions and your knowledge of society. Break the mirror, it would mean that your mad at the man in the mirror, wow MJ much -.- If your happy the way you are, then let it be, don't look in the mirror too much, self confidence is the step towards a better life.

Hearts are Broken and mended,

Hearts are Shattered or torn,

It was never intended to be,

For love is eternally sworn.

I've cried, prayed, pleaded,

for love to hold its ground,

Hope was all i needed,

Pain was all i found.

quote lucky13

Life is temporary, death is necessary

quote Taufiq T.

Now lets deliberate on that matter. Its true that this life is a test to see whether were can set in heaven, its between you and God. We can live in happiness but for what its worth, its not forever. People have different meaning for happiness, its the smile in your face but the light in your heart for me. Death is when your test ends and wait for others to finish. There's no passing mark but only the weight balance to see your sin and deeds, do they add up?

You'll never know what is true love until you have truly been loved,

You'll never understand pain until you realise that you lose out on true love.

quote lucky13

Hujan lebat mencurah kini, bagaikan tiada henti.

quote Aizat-Pergi

When it rains, On this side of town it touches everything,

Just running away, From all those who loves you, From everything

quote Hayley Williams- When it Rains

Sincerely,

Thesaurus

Ghost

2010-05-31T23:45:00.002+08:00

When we mention this title we think of entities that are stuck between heaven and earth. Aren't we all ghost in some way, wonder aimlessly towards something which have no meaning for others but its special for yourself.

Kiss her goodnight before leaving her, thats the last thing she deserves

quote lucky13

What's the best thing that has happened to you? What can you recall that had significant value? Maybe that watch your wearing, or the moment you got the watch? In life there's something to give and something to let go. That process will change the course of the present and develop your future in ways you can never imagine. What if you missed college? Then tmw is another new day rite? College was delayed therefore more work for you.

Time, something we can't buy with any amount. Even tho the saying time is money. We can get money but time is the gold in the broke man's house. It might be hidden or might not be there at all. We take for granted, like the past lovers or flings. Time and lovers shape the person you are today. It might not be the way the you walk but its the way to talk or the way you smile.

I've got a tight grip on reality but i can't let go of what's in front me

quote Hayley Williams- Paramore

Lets say we didn't meet,

I would hate for that to happen,

Cause for what its worth,

Life is worth wild meeting you.

A far cry from reality,

Faith flies like a dove,

A smile to insanity,

Consequences of your love for me.

quote lucky 13

Sincerely,

Hazard

Look Out, Look Away

2010-05-25T00:26:00.003+08:00

Would you hold me,

If you knew my shame

quote Tears Don't Fall

I scream with visions slowly fading, blinded by the white light, i rage towards the machine. The only thing that controls our thoughts, our ways of life, stick it to the fucking MAN.

Rebel for freedom, envy justice for it is far from grasp

quote lucky13

So how do we rebel for freedom? Play hardcore music, abduct a minister or two? No we riot on the streets and get our soldiers killed. Plain and simple, follow the rules by day, forget Batman at night and this can't be more simple.

I never thought that this is how i would hit the floor

quote Hit The floor

Lets start a circle in the middle and let the fist fly. Anything goes rite in the mosh pit, we can sing along after that. I love the concept of a punch first, sing later. Its brilliant, we can bring the hate from our everyday lives, we share a common persona; We get punched, kicked, body slammed and we do the same. Few minutes later we sing along to those imminent parts of the songs that we can't resist. A friendship for an hour cause of our common taste in music.

How do we keep this complicated emotions locked up in our sub concious. We keep a straight face, act like a normal human being. So what if this bottle of emotions get full? Thats how its been and that how its gonna be. Deal with it in your own manner. How do you manipulate it to get under control. To many times i've seen it, we sing out loud. LOOK! AT! ME! NOW!! OWHH!

We shed a tear for those loved ones alive or not, the ones we can remember, the ones we've forgotten, 4 words to choke up. We say our Good-Bye's but thats not enough, we need to keep them in our memories just to keep us sane. Think about it, what would happen if that person didn't exist, then life would just turn out different and just maybe, you won't be riding this and i won't be writing how i would hope to be writing. I carry no regrets on my shoulders, my past is locked away, my window to the future is open for the opportunities to fly in.

Look at my eyes and tell me what we had was a lie to keep me sane

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Listen

Persistence

2010-05-22T03:09:00.002+08:00

Look at the cloud and i think to myself, is it a floating entity that usually comes when you have a hard day. Look at the palms and try to trace back the family roots. Looking at your eyes, they tell me "I love you" but not don't hope for a happy ending.

It's a feeling that i can't put my finger on, it won't come your way just once, you'll won't find it when your looking for it. It lands on your lap, nurture it for it might bring you the only true happiness in your life.

The fact that the knowledge of true would never exist, I swore to myself that i would think of that smile as the only anchor i have in my heart. It doesn't weight me down but keeps me afloat. It keeps the proof that your not just a dream.

Sincerely,

Exception

Assumptions, Judgemental, Heartless

2010-05-22T01:56:00.003+08:00

When i met you, i looked forward to seeing you in my dreams, but reality was better cause i saw you.

quote lucky13

The point of extortion is to gain leverage over your competitor and apparently life has a huge leverage on me and i cant do anything bout it. It brings me great grief when i mutter the words I love you and i will always care for you. Because a person like me can't express himself to another but your that special person. I found it rather nice that i could at least express my feelings for you.

The way you look at me with those mischievous eyes still lingers in my dreams. The actual certainty of our love will last. That deceiving smile that i fell for, those lies i ignored, the truth that i so hopefully came out of your mouth, that special person i became when i felt your presence was a beautiful lie. An odd thing to love that deception, the complication but i guess i'm always second best, from my first crush to my first love. The winner doesn't know how to appreciate the type of love that you project.

A single moment of sincerity was hoped upon but sadly you showed no compassion because its human nature to not show weakness for it was easy for that person to be exploited. I guess that i'm not a common human. You exploited and used my weakness and spun that web of love to eat on my grief. I don't ask for much but at least tell me why was it easy for you to do the action you did.

My heart still trembles when i think of you,

My tears run down when i think of you,

I feel my heart with regret because of things ended up,

Cause i think that you hurt your loved ones the most.

quote lucky13

I know the fact that you won't tell me some things and i respect your privacy but that doesn't mean you can parade behind my back and get away with. I won't send you on a guilt trip but i would really appreciate the fact that your honest. I would love it that you would appreciate the fact that i never scold you. Your my daughter but my lover, but i taught, i was a dispensable fling.

I ignore the facts cause i taught you were better than those lies coming from others. I guess trouble knocks on my door every time i look at you.

My deepest passion is to find a trouble maker,

I dream of her honesty,

I wish she would come back into my arms once more,

My hope dies with a big hole in my centre.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Persistence

Romeo LoveD Juliet

2010-05-16T02:32:00.002+08:00

Now the need to utter rubbish has caught once again.

Let the light bring you towards darkness to see how the blind looks at this corrupt world.

You came to me like the sky that suddenly appears, and as i appreciated you shadowing the sun, you disappear to render to me broken.

lucky13

Okay, weeks passed by, finally i got my laptop and my car back but in total it cost up to 3k. This is madness at biblical proportion.

Sing at the tone proper to the song, shoot at the person responsible for all you troubles, act as God for the moment, but don't blame anyone else but yourself. I cant say that i appreciated every gesture you gave me cause for one, it was useless after the incident. Its not my war, i don't knock at peoples door but trouble comes to me in a fashionable manner in which it invites itself over. So its only my fault that i provoke it after a submissive defeat.

Let love guide to all the wrong places as long as it makes the heart happy and the soul complete.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Mute

Human Nature, or Mine at least

2010-05-03T23:23:00.003+08:00

I got a hole in me now,

Revenge takes a bow,

Whats the point,

Everything still looks plain.

quote lucky13

Are you indecisive when both sides have a strong influence on the outcome and it seems like smiles will come? Its like the most confusing question of all, is zebra's white with black stripes or the other way around? Either way it makes you happy that you solved the riddle. Life is full of decisions which you have to make in order to sustain balance. Not making a decision is a direct decision itself.

Okay, college is going good except for the fact that i went to the wrong floor today -.- and i was already late. Other than that, my car. I cant find a proper work shop that won't con me into paying more or stealing my parts.

Can humans not cheat each other into giving something up? Maybe its human nature? I've noticed that somewhere along the line of honesty, theres a thread missing. Everyones guilty along the way. If your in denial, then you too show another human nature characteristic :)

Don't say something crazy like you love me, cause i know i'd something crazy like believing in it

quote lucky13

Now privilege is something that can be bought or earned through some influential hand. With the influential hand, thats either corruption or just sympathy. We all are corrupted in some way, its just if you believe it thats all. Life gives you time, waste it, and then regret is just human nature :)

Sincerely,

What words play

3,4,5.. dotted line

2010-04-28T00:10:00.004+08:00

How do you treat a broken heart,

The same way you treat a wound,

When life brings you a strom,

Why not play in it and see the consequences?

quote lucky13

Okay, so i'm currently adapting to college life. Just wear a new skin over there, converse with them in english if you must to help them improve. The common saying, when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. So me helping is my lemonade to change their thick malay accent to a more proper english accent. We need to help our fellow mates sincerely and not because they want it.

Live life with nothing intended and something will surely shock you. "Slowly take a step forward and not a step back" quote zaim90. I watch people thinking their happy but inside their not, I observe those building their own wall to block happiness, I watch myself being a victim in self destruction. So don't be shocked once you realised that steps to happiness are wrong, follow the flow and crush that wall you build to suffocate yourself.

Okay, okay, my intentions to go college is to further to a higher learning level, but knowledge in this life is just temporary. It might get you a bungalow but it cant get you a first class ticket to the afterlife. I say, do what is necessary to succeed in this life so there won't be any regrets.

Where beams of imagination play,

The memories ideas fade away,

Where playful minds cascade,

Imaginations collaborate,

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Needs, ends

A Box

2010-04-25T02:49:00.003+08:00

If i could just one wish,

I would wish to wake up to that stunning smile,

The feeling our hearts beating in perfect harmony,

Cause i know i wouldn't feel the same with anyone else.

quote lucky13

My life lived like a wondering dog with a bone, impatient and greedy. Sad songs are my medium of communication through out this work. I keep it in till it leaks like a broken radiator, slowly but surely you will see a defect in my performance. I was treated like another fling when i gave you a piece of heart. It still rains in my mind, where the lines overlap are the obvious signs.

Okay, I wanted to turn to right lane when i was on the way to TTDI. Then the first reaction was hitting the brakes and usually it follows with a bang and then fuck. BANG! FUCK!! I hit a matrix from the back cause a useless cab driver didn't use his signal. So i paid the owner of the matrix rm100 but actually it was rm500. Thank GOD. So tmw i'm suppose to go to a half cut garage to salvage the parts to fix my car. Such a fucking hassle.

How do make teamwork work? With enough time, a group will learn each others attributes and they will try to work around them or help each other better themselves. So thats what i did in orientation. I kept my group laughing during "Latihan Dalam Kumpulan" and other activities. Its Baitumal, the zakat that we pay during raya is used for scholarships and to help the less fortunate. So technically i'm going to a Baitumal college, meaning its all religious. DAMN!

How do you suffer when things can get any worse, by putting antiseptic into the wound. So thats what happened when things went south a couple of month ago. We shared and we talked but you kissed. I cant say that i'm happy about that, but i can say that i hope your happy without me and whom ever you get treats you a million times better than me. Distance is the issue at hand, I have no discipline over what my heart wants. I want to and i need to. Might as well start in Mexico and get fucked every time i go finding for happiness cause i know at the of the road is nothing. Its false hope cause in the afterlife only that were most truly happy. So i don't care about if i get used cause i'm used to it. Like a worn out shirt, i get thrown out just as fast as came into your life. So sugar, i'm going down no matter the promise.

Okay okay, I was stuck in orientation. I was gathering at the park. Everyday, just after midnight, if i get some rest, if not then I will be awake till 5.30 to pray. So okay I know that I wont pray when i'm at home but i refused a drink at Lara's. So thats progress and with GOD's will, i didn't pray GOD gave me an accident. A loaded gun to my head, and I pulled. I bit the hand that feeds.

The midnight dream of our futures are gone. What if there was a second chance, only in GOD's will, only determined by fate, only dreamt by flies. I kept holding on, so this is my wrong doing, I put my hand into the fire when i knew what was the outcome hoping for a different outcome. Stay on your knees, count your blessing, scream. Meet me in outer space.

The first I gazed at your smile,

time and space were paralyzed,

I saw the universe in a blink,

I dwell in Paradise, when i look at your smile.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Justanotherused

Ends Meat

2010-04-14T04:00:00.003+08:00

Inspiration, my inspiration was from my unlucky encounters. So with a tear of happiness i lose my rhythm to write.

I hit the bottle,

When i lose something i love,

I smoke up,

When i lose the thing i want the most

quote lucky13

The reason why i stopped was cause of you, and the reason why my bad habits came back is especially cause of you.

quote lucky13

I sing of love cause it exist, thru your eyes i see everything i want. I scream at reality cause of its honesty. I might not be hottest guy around but i know to make you happy emotionally. A chance is what i ask for. Make me the only exception, it might be the best decision you make.

My mind travels, so when i leave this world. I hope that your happy cause i know you feel rite when i'm leaving. I say something sweet to remind you who loves more than anything. When i get back, i see another guy. Tears run down my face. "This what happens when you leave" says she.

Under estimate love and it will shock you

quote lucky13

I'm not complex,

I love you and thats it,

Your better than my ex,

I'd sacrifice my life for our love.

You let me down,

I said its fine,

You were everything,

For that i lost my life.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Songs and fairy-tales

Make believe

2010-04-11T04:04:00.002+08:00

I'll wait till the oceans run dry just to hug you again.

quote lucky13

Take a can drink, see if you can crush the tin. The test of true strength, it doesn't matter wheter your tired. It shows your will to impress, if you cant then maybe your modest. I wanted to become a Advanced Parker and i got what i wanted, with training. Its not a miracle but the programme that you make to truly succeed.

In times of desperation, who do you go to? If you answered God, then the Almighty is only to you when His desperate too. So whens that? I know i don't pray but it doesn't hurt to ask for his help, its like gambling, the stakes may not be on your side, try your luck. Hopefully you hear winner winner chicken dinner.

The moon is your symbol,

You disappear from time to time,

But when i see you,

You brighten up those lost nights.

quote lucky13

Okay, so rite now, in my life, i'm wrongly accused for saying a certain bad word to certain someone. The hell -.- Have more compelling evidence and not point your finger at the first bad boy that comes to mind -.- You want trouble, i got my chance now.

The lucky heart who she replaced, i hope you make happier than i could have ever made. Next time you point that finger at me showing that you succeeded, i'll break it. Shes not a prize, not a trophy that you can hold up. Shes the girl that you show off regardless of how she looks like. I was happy with you but i'm happier that your with someone that can make you smile again. Bury knee deep in specks of sand i cant walk in, i watch alone as you live your new life.

The velvet sky lights up,

The way you showed me the light,

I see the moons defects from a far,

Like you but thats what i attracted too.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Exception

Looks To Kill

2010-04-08T23:58:00.002+08:00

The past brings the present to life, and help develop the future.

quote lucky13

Lets all sing, IF you can wait till i get home. So lets begin, promises are suppose to kept from the heart. So why break that bond? Responsibilities aside. Put a fucking reminder or something. I cant promise anything i fucking cant care bout responsibilities. I don't make them cause i know i wont commit.

Okay, new thing in my life, WJM 7385. A Proton -.- but hey at least it gets me somewhere. Gonna start college soon. Excited i guess? I'm gonna have to wake the same time i go to sleep -.- Enough!

Judge yourself before judging others. Look in the mirror.

quote lucky13

Judge, Jury and Executioner. Now having that much power, you must have gone thru a phase of corruption. If not, congrats, your hard work has paid off. We need more less controversial leaders or at least the ones that do something bout the health and roads. There are so many construction sites and the roads aren't getting any better. I elect a person who wants attention and who would do work for his community. Corrupt or not, he gets the job done.

Buy and sell. Look in the mirror and see what are you flaws in your life. Are you happy? NO? Maybe those flaws makes you who you are and would project simple diversity. Nothing fancy. So who can hold a stick and state the obvious. Be proud but keep it to a sensible reason.

Its not easy for me to cry when my loved one stares into my my eyes,

You cant express what you feel inside cause the silence makes the moment by,

I love you to much to not point your flaws cause i'm in love with them,

Only time will tell what happiness means when its gone with the wind.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Circle, Cycle

Goal

2010-04-07T02:28:00.002+08:00

Aim before striking, breath before shooting, think before doing, love to be loved

quote lucky13

A black for the road and thats not enough to bring me down. I'm not a soldier, but i fight for my loved one. To the land of forgiving if i must go to, then i shall fly first. Hopefully she could return the favour by doing the same. I'm not demanding for a smile, i want sincerity.

Okay, so now most of my friends are in college. I officially have no one to spend in the afternoon. The fact that i wake up at 3pm makes it so much better -.-

Now a heart, its a gift from God. Its meant to pump blood to your entire body. It works without rest since the day your mum was pregnant. The saying "heart broken" means that person is on the verge of dying. Now having another persons blood on your hands? Kinda of big deal. "Heartless" or "Cold-Hearted", i was once in that phase where i cant care for anything. I achieved this thru "heartache", but luckily i snapped out of that spell and hopefully i can piece my "Shattered Heart".

Things are never the same once you repeat it one to many times. Every kiss for lovers is another testament to each other showing that they are willing to give and take. Every breath makes things clear to see.

I just had a sudden realisation, how do people make things work. Its not compatibility, but the need to compromise others for your lover.

Its love,

Not the universe,

Its not confusing,

Its something special,

Shes danger,

But i love her.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Scream, Aim, Fire

Huntress

2010-04-06T03:33:00.003+08:00

Does love last for those who cherish it so very dearly? Fiction or not, we want to believe in this incorruptible power which can drive man to build cities and love no matter the cost.

It may change a sane man crazy when his head over heels. It might make a saint wanting to sin. This invisible force can make you a total opposite and still make you feel happy with who ever you that special person is.

The false hope of love is still another form of love. Its not corrupted, it has its "butterfly in your stomach" effect. Not everyone is lucky with this false hope cause there are many of those who heartless enough to ace this trick.

The symbol of a heart shape is usually recognised as the symbol of love, but love needs no symbol cause itself has its magical and adrenaline moments. If you cant express in words, then do it in actions, not in symbols. I'm sure its an easy saying but difficult to exercise. Its love, who can judge you rite.

This is me when i'm really bored and i need to write a book -.-

I enjoy writing nonsense.

Thy heart i long to love and to hold,

I cry for thee when i grow weakness,

Trust not my actions but in my gestures,

Because for thee i'm head over heals.

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Sonic Love

Shut Down

2010-04-06T00:35:00.002+08:00

Lets talk about betrayal. This topic was suggested from my fellow friend Andrew Sachdev. Lets began shall we?

So what do you exactly mean by betrayal? When trust is broken. This is because society loves to gossip. Once its your turn to bitch about someone, who better than the friend who trusts you until the point of no expectation of betrayal. Its blind after a certain period of time. Who to blame, gossip is what makes forest burn faster.

Part2

Betrayal of trusts thru love. Now this venom is more potent than any know biological weapon. Its tears society curtain as if it was made out of paper. Sleeping with another is wrong, but with their best friend is another part all together. But why i ask this, cause i wonder what drives the one to blame to do such dishonest things. Human beings are very impossible to understand. Its not the theory of men are from mars and women are from venus. We compromise our own situation. Why go thru all that trouble to ruin a perfectly fine relationship. Dig yourself a deep hole, bury you head inside and see what feels like getting the wrong attention. This is a direct humiliation. Same thing as cheating :)

Song3

The art of war, i never read it. I'm sure it teaches you how to betray or purposely blind your opponent. Its the same thing as except for betraying the opponent shit. How heartless can you be to call yourself a lover if you cant do as promise. Heading towards the cliff, you promise you jump but you left the person to free fall alone. Tragic. But we need betrayal to remind us that we can be feel happy for one moment, and its totally gone. Makes us learn how to get back on our feet. It reminds that person that their still human and eventually it comes back to haunt you. And the worse part is, its being practised every second around this never ending rotating sphere.

Sincerely,

Convey the Messenger

ASD

2010-04-04T03:50:00.002+08:00

Blow me a kiss from a miles away and blind from the lies everyone tells me.

Strike first and strong, leave me guessing and barely breathing.

Sleeping on cloud nine, sell my soul for eternities worth moments with you.

Metal plate i wear doesn't make me bulletproof, cause i find for a shatter proof love.

I swear to love and hold, that left me to rot.

Alerion, eternity, centuries

Sincerely,

Klam

Nothing is still something

2010-04-04T02:51:00.002+08:00

Remember when you were young and innocent. How do you look at the world? The perspective of a 5 year old is much better than an educated coward. I say this cause kids speak their mind, they don't know societies boundaries and they cant be blamed. Silence them and the world calls that abusive.

Learn to live before loving

quote lucky13

Do you hold the weight of your loved one, cause you love them too much to not tell them whats happening. Bad decision. We learn to express our surroundings, so its the same thing as telling someone else that something went wrong. You being selfish, not wanting to spoil the moment. That would the downfall of us all.

Okay, so today, not much. I asked her to go on a date but the thing is that we haven't confirmed any time yet. So yeah, let the fireworks fly and see wheter your bulletproof self can handle the complication that i may give. Its all give and take once someone gets greedy, if things turn into a nightmare, i'll hide myself in the shadows till i get to love one more time.

Nice guys finsih last, but the last is better than nothing

quote lucky13

Lets say if i was a superhero. Who will give me strength in time of darkness, Superman had Lois Lane, Spiddy had Mary Jane. I guess every superhero has a forbidden love behind the scenes, but as long as i can make you safe, i can never be happier. Let me quote this; "No one is as lucky as us" quote Paramore-Where the Lines Overlap. I cant fly, i don't have super strength, but when i'm with you, i know nothing can harm you but my ignorance.

Why cant the world feed on the love we have for each other? Like the hurricane that destroys a town. It looks lovely but its deadly, like the smile you wear. Temptation is my weakness and you know how to exploit that very wall i build. Your the adrenaline rush that keeps me guessing.

Freedom of expression, freedom to live, freedom for redemption.

Leave a mark on the world, make a good impression, leave this world with a smile and no regrets

quote ....

Sincerely,

, End Later

Intimate Settings

2010-04-03T03:29:00.005+08:00

How do you from a to c and not go thru b? Cheat.

How do you get away with murder? Corruption.

How do you get someone to believe? Cash.

How do you get someone to love you? ... Its your effort.

Lets start with loud music and xaxau lights. It distracts you from reality, and escape if you wanna call it that. The alcohol is the lubricant that makes everything easier and smoother.

Life has no boundaries, only guidelines

quote lucky13

Music is the greatest inspiration in my life "No Music, No Life"quote Osho. Lets not fake the orgasm and move on to the festivities, cause i'm tired of your bull shit so why lead me on? Crushcrushcrush,2,3,4, you can crush the dream but you cant corrupt the inspiration. Not even big brother can rule the soundtracks cause they only hold the labels of the records companies but they cant write all the songs. Let me quote this; "They will control us"quote Muse.

Okay, enough crap, so i gotta buck up and try to keep straight edged for a moment just so i can get back on my feet. I wanna look thru the glasses of society, look at the souls who follow a schedule and at war with themselves. Mentality of certain cultures must be in line.

Why build a fence when you have a gun? That extra sense of security is worth what? It can be compromised. So is a gun. So ask yourself, how are you safe? Simple, the up bringing of a child can determine their sense of security but i wanna see this theory walk.

Lets two steps back and recap on life what your dreams were a few years back. What made you have that sudden passion for that certain field of expertise. Every night, you close your eyes and dream that you will fulfil your aspiration. Can you get there? With determination and following societies order of life, anything is possible.

Look no further, cause examples of anything is everywhere

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Begin Now,

The Staple

2010-03-29T03:13:00.004+08:00

Forgetting what it felt like to kiss and get away with sin, but who am i actually running from? Come and tell me when its time to repent. Degeneration, the fall of our youth or me. Amazing how the world revolves around the things you do, one mistake and the world watches you as it hopes for you to make another mistake, i made a mistake but the world look east and west. So is the mistake i made another different concept?

Okay, so now i have a bong pipe in my mouth and enjoying the smoke that comes out of my nose. I need, i want, i wish for something amazing to happen but i need to embrace what i have before adding more bricks. "Brick by boring brick"- Paramore. Mines not boring but i make everything seems so dull. Like the pen you stab but the sword you hoist high in the air.

What is life worth doing, when life is full of rejection

quote AltasRhythm

And so i continue the next night,

I found a post that never got edited and was left alone. The story wasn't told, its not finsih but hey, we cant finish what we wanted to never end rite. So heres a click and paste of the post, unedited ;)

I followed the ktm track and picked her up at 7-11 with a cab. Amazingly i had the saddest day today. Wish i can convey the story but it just hurts thinking of it. Now i know that the nicest people, never get anything in this heart aching life style. Only a picture can remind me of how i felt for you, how you felt for me. How things became.

The post ends there.

On the other side of the truth, i wear a shield which i wished was bulletproof, people get shoot down, we don't need good headlines, just life lines.

Imagine if you can relive the moment, imagine staring love rite in her eyes, saying;

I live in this fairytale,

Imagination is for real,

Societies underdog,

My future with you is still in fog.

Lucky13;

So rite now, in my life my,

Passions; To write what ever i think of

Dreams; For a happier life, but i'm happy enough for what i have

Wishes; Gamble when the stakes are on my side

Sincerely,

ChipnDale

And Hey Darling

2010-03-28T03:10:00.002+08:00

The concept of a perfect life is you being happy and dodging their misfortunes. Notice how i used dodge instead of any other word to dismiss misfortunes. A concept of a perfect life is to accept anything that happens and blend emotion with instinct. What ever happens is another concept

So what if i was separated by a certain tragedy from my other half or mate as people would call it. I would try my best to see it thru and hopefully i'll see her at the end of this dark tunnel.

Only lies help the cheaters

quote lucky13

Okay, so since i updated, i'm still happy with my sort of well being, who can stop my cough but me and still i smoke like a bitch once supply wont run dry. I was came into close contact with a supernatural being when i was at the park. Its one thing to park after midnight but a whole different game once it hits 3am and your foot is still in the park.

Expect the worse and it might come but good will always prevail at the of the war. Doesnt matter what war, problem is; the line between good and bad is blurred constant by constant boosting of fellow parties. So who the fuck am i suppose to follow? The one who promises 3 square meals or the one that offers freedom with the cost of blood shed, if you can wait till i get home.

I noticed that robots and humans are practically the same, they can be controlled by a remote device. A robot with a brain and emotion can be influenced to subconsciously do evil indirectly to the those who don't deserve it. We do it but at a certain someone who we shunt cause of difference, i may say bad things but its cause its funny and hopefully no one gets hurt. Am i programmed?

Okay okay, my driving license is hopefully in my pocket by the 12th of April, cause i cant wait to get that freedom. I choose freedom, and it does come with blood shed, bare with it and make sure my will for survival or existence is strong. I may be smiling outside, screaming in the inside but i know we all plan for a certain chain of events to happen to better ourselves in the present of hopefully in the future.

I know that eventually love with fall into the business category, loving will turn into a job and that ruins the fun of expression. Tell me how does a moment of sincerity work? Is love sincere? I ask this question, when i get a certain someone, i say another load of shit but i guess thats how love starts. Everything else seems to exist, you and her are living the concept of the perfect life, i guess thats where it goes down the drain.

I have no special request but only think of a loved one, keep him/her close to your heart and settle your differences now before you follow the concept of a perfect life.

Blink once and possibly miss an important moment that could alter your life

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Black eye

Apple.

2010-03-24T04:42:00.002+08:00

An apple a day keeps the doctor, a stick a day keeps reminding me that life is temporary.

I'm not a bad person but the cycle of karma makes me feel that bad things only happens to bad people.

If i were to shout at the top of my lungs, its just a boy crying wolf, not world rite. Why am i constantly ignored? I guess its karma, change is good.

Portraits of familiar faces keeps me safe, one glance and their there even tho the distance is uncountable. I wish there was a portrait of me, somewhere, it doesn't matter, its not the location but the company.

Okay, life story, gonna camp with my thinking cap. Gonna be a lot of changes to my current but we evolve and learn that evolution, or for me college, is just another phase in life. A chapter maybe that has to be opened.

I heard a story earlier abt a certain someone and their loved one, he didnt hear the words he wanted to hear, but no matter what he would love her and he said; "I'm ready to leave this country". He boarded a plane few hours later to further his studies. Dude, its loves challenge, when you come back, and she waiting, things would never be same

Your current favourite song; I would never be the same, if we ever meet again

Cheer up, go fishing ;)

Have you ever had that feeling of envy and happiness at the same time? You see all your friends, they have a loved one but your happy for them and you wait for your turn. My turn might come late but i'm sure its gonna be magical. "you never plan for anything magical, it just happens" quote Valentines Day.

Okay okay, so rite now, i'm not depressed anymore, which is good rite? I flood the tweet deck or spam as people would say. I feel happier inside, i don't smoke as much as i used to. A smile is in my head even tho i don't show it.

I leave scars on my hands so i wont forget who i was, what i was going thru in my life, when life shunts you, keep a reminder for yourself. I'm not emo, screw that -.- i'm just very sentimental.

Its 5am now; cause day and night, the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night.

Love a person for who they are and not what you want to love about them, their imperfections are what makes them who they are. We were raised to be perfect but soon along the way, we can never be, not even with the right will. So love is about opening your expectations to newer things and accepting their so called defects.

So at this point of life my;

Passions are to open my mind to newer things/willing to learn

Dreams are to better myself

Wish i can get there no matter how high the wall is

Sincerely,

Plum, grape, Mint

Sims 2

2010-03-22T04:01:00.002+08:00

Its amazing how Sims can be change to Sins. But their game is some sort of get away for all those who wants to restart their life rite? Thats madness to magnet for me. The force of attraction and hope for a new life.

Hears a sound track from their game

Pressure-Paramore

Tell me where our time went
And if it was time well spent
Just dont let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again

Cause I fear I might break
And I fear I cant take it
Some night I'll lie awake
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Now that I'm losing hope
And theres nothing else to show
For all of the days that were spent
carrying away from hope

Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Without you

Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
But I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Feel the pressure
its getting closer now
You're better off without me

Pressure-Paramore

So what is the games message here?

Whats my mind fiddling with nowaday ah?

Sincerely,

Silencer

Free!

2010-03-22T01:33:00.002+08:00

I i had a song, i wish it can be covered acoustic-ly. Cause every acoustic song makes it sound more emotional but nicer from the original one.

The same goes for me, but i was the acoustic version. Finally for one night i feel no depression. Its amazing cause i'm sick at the same time and i didnt smoke a lot. ba da ba ba da da ba da......

Day and night!

So what if time is temporary

quote lucky13

To decide the fate of someone is monu-mental but its easier to decide your own, so why the fuck are you clouding me life la bastard. I fear i might break

So whats new other than the sudden release of depression from my life, i'm gonna do my LCCI, where you ask. My mum's college, she doesnt fucking own it, chill, shes a lecturer there so yeah. LCCI is like A-levels for accounting. Hopefully i can further somewhere good after this.

Okay music session; Now i'm currently listening to "Here we go again- Paramore" and waiting for Fever by BFMV

How do i control this sudden mood swing?

Keep tabs of reason

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

New found glory

What?

2010-03-19T02:00:00.002+08:00

Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle

What can life offer a man that can't get anything?

I wish i was in a fantasy, i don't care wheter its for a second. As long as i can live a better life.

Hahahah, even i laugh at my misfortunes cause only i acknowledge them. I'm not mad at myself, but at least i see the light at the end of this tragic tunnel.

What if my subconscious dies when i find something better than air?

Then pictures aren't just pictures, their an expression of that bittersweet moment.

I'm sure the realisation of my existence is tragic. I'm not mad but your reputation( cause thats the only thing that people look upon) dies with you so make an impression.

So let me give you an update on my life as this moment i reflect upon myself

Passions; The colourful flavours of smoke in my lungs

Dreams; For a better tmw by which it may never come

Wishes; For another shot

aimbot

2010-03-10T01:09:00.002+08:00

Why is life worth living?

What the fuck are we suppose to do?

Ask those questions, weight your happy moments and your depressing moments.

We get disappointed every turn you make, in any form.

Accomplishments aren't enough for those who aim high enough until they reach the point of realising that what are the accomplishments worth. Fuck. Imagine if something could trouble you, then something even worse comes along. And when you search for that something that you think can make you happy, its gone.

Am i suppose to leave a mark on this world?

For what?

Whats it good for?

People will only realise you once your dead. When is this gonna end?

Sincerely,

Just-ice

Lie to My faCe

2010-03-08T03:54:00.002+08:00

Conclusion that i make towards my life, its kinda odd that i'm doing this at the age of 17. Once you lost something precious than air; you start thinking what else can happen that can ruin your life rite? Something as captivating as a free smile from a stranger doesn't amuse me one bit.

Love hurts, its worst when you lost a loved one

quote lucky13

I'll be better when i'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

Strong words.

I wish you can see me now, a bit more matured to make rational decisions. I'm sure sympathy is the first word that strikes when I cry. I don't want sympathy, make a matured decisions and let me see the strands in your eyes. I'm sure you'll tear up, if i can make your cry, there are feelings in your heart for me, but i cant force them out kan.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

quote Chrity- Hurt

It hurts more than you can take a knife and stab me

Now that tears run down almost every night, regretting the out come. I cant careless. Selfless attributes are my Achilles heel. You used that against me, you said: "Umar, its best for me and you if we went separates ways. I'm sure if we were meant to be, we would meet again. Ok?" *few months later* "Umar, meet my bf"

I saw the cruel intention but i ignored my bitter thoughts. I said to myself that the night is darkest before dawn.

Love is just false fairy-tale, stop living in it, fuck the real world too

quote lucky13

The only lucky people is too die a sane man with a loved one. Those are the lucky bunch, probably the Holocaust victims.

I just wished something better would happen to me within this time of mourning, something exciting; like sharing a great memory with a random person, getting to know them maybe. I hate it when i asked but theres not answer, when i wonder but theres not an answer, no response to a simple suggestions.

So rite now in my life;

Passions; Cant say living cause i wake up just to smoke and kill myself faster.

Dreams; For a better and not bitter tmw.

Wishes; To meet someone even more special than the last one.

Rejection is a bitch, but life throws rejections rite at me; conclusion? lifes a bitch!

Sincerely,

FML

Rmmbr Th Lv

2010-03-06T00:50:00.002+08:00

Give everything up for you, but everything apparently wasn't enough

quote lucky13

Youth is being offered all sorts of activities, bad and good. Its up to you to follow the bad or the good or both.

Now that statement is just a simple problem faced by every teen. What can you do to distance yourself from this? Nothing, its just keeps coming.

I need adrenaline to keep out of bed or just some activity good or bad. I have no motivation to get my ass out of bed. Have i lost the hope to live or just barely living?.

Moments like this, like; lonely at home, it can be dangerous cause a curious mind can think what would happen if that day happened in a different way.

Ghetto rock anyone? I was watching Glee just now, marathon, it was kinda interesting with the constant confusion that they have, but then again the actors seem a bit too old for high school.

Maybe its just a way that the conspirators make we the youth curious of teen pregnancy, drugs and violence.

Rite now, at this time of my life, i'm listening to Taking Back My Love-Enrique Glasses. I gave it all up.

Now how does that quote relate to my life, it says everything.

Just look back and you might find the feelings i gave you

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

What ifs?

Wilkes

2010-03-05T00:55:00.002+08:00

The sensation in my heart that you gave was a sense of security and happiness. I'm safe when i'm on your shoulder either crying, sleeping or even crying. I speak only truth to you but you told me lies, but when i asked you why, you said a sense of horror hit me, is this my violent movie where the main character dies and its a sad ending.

You can't change the pass but you can make up for it. I made the effort, i loved a panther and got bitten most of the time, but i know when your serious, the feeling of pain is still there, but not from the times i got into trouble but the times you shunted me. I write for you my dear, i think every word at a time, and its still not enough.

Quote BLG; Your always be my thunder. I cried you a river and all i got was the sudden realisation that even my confessions isn't enough to get you back. I would say that i would have to move on, but its too long since i said that and now i'm writing for you.

I wish you knew how much pain you can inflict cause rite now, i wouldn't do that to my lover but i would do it if it means i'm showing how much i love you. Confusion riddles my mind. I was hit and ran over.

Sincerely,

Bummer

Sktr By

2010-03-05T00:45:00.002+08:00

Amazing how a string of unusual events can make up to form a life experience.

Caring for others more than yourself is forgetting yourself, soon enough people will forget you no matter what the impression you made.

quote lucky13

I wish i could love again, i was stoned from the love you gave me.

I was captivated by the romance you gave me, i wish it could happen again.

I don't know myself when i'm a loner but when i'm in love, i'm fullest.

I never knew i lost it all, and now i'm a free man with nothing to lose.

I wanna say that if you watch a movie induced is awesome, but 3d is a whole new chapter.

Rite now i'm listening to My Happy Ending- Avril L. Amazing how everytime i blog, an amazing unusual turn of events can make up the moment to unravel an inspiration.

Learn to take care of yourself before loving, but go wild when your in love.

quote lucky13

Black and white too

2010-03-03T02:24:00.002+08:00

Something came across me like a forest fire, i acknowledge those who has long distance relationships.

I see that even distance and a physical relationship doesn't matter to them, i know it can get boring but people evolve and we create ideas everytime, so let them make the best of it and see happiness built from a distance.

I just wish that i had a relationship far more than just physical but emotional and full of passion. Hey i'm not blogging bout me here now am i, so start the slow jams and see what happens to those with long distance.

Sincerely,

Seems to be

beat the beatles

2010-03-03T01:56:00.002+08:00

From where i can stand, i can still see that smile in my mind; even tho its gone

quote lucky13

So what can be said bout today? I was an escort for a lovely friend. I was in Bangsar to alter jeans.

What did i see that people tend to forget, its hot in the summer, but summer doesn't last long. Love can be said the same, when things heat up, cool down and chill out.

In this second of the universe, i'm listening to Christina Aguilera- Hurt. Ask me why and i'll say its just what expresses me.

Kill the dream and you kill more than one soul, torture the soul and karma will attract D-Day to you.

I've been texting a fox but if i didnt reply you, its cause it ran out of battery and its charging up stairs. Shooting Star

Vent frustration thru a positive picture, portrait.

When in need of money, save, when in need of friends, call, when in need to scandal, call, when in of a true love, patience.

Last words from a wise person, they won't fall on deaf ears, but pls acknowledge them cause thats still knowledge.

You making me insane,

I tear my heart open; just to feel

Scars- Papa Roach

Scars don't vanish but with product, it does, same with depression.

Ahh yes, on last issue that i can't take care but i can blog, freedom of speech :)

Issue; When i try to be friendly, its not a direct intention to go out on a date. Friends are taken for granted every second of the universe, so what if i might be the next forgotten friend, i just wish to help, owh well, its my lost cause i want knowledge of life experience but theirs for wasting my hand.

Lets not fight, discuss this matter, lets make love, thats better

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Best Wishes

Spdrmn

2010-03-01T14:48:00.002+08:00

Life you gives you lemons, i make lemonade, i discover my heart thru love and it gets broken

quote lucky13

So what if i don't fly as high as i use too, i keep below the radar better.

Give piece a chance and hopefully you increase you chances of finding piece. Such a play of words, but it works

I'm not a super hero, but i can make you safe at times when i'm not there.

Love is a rose, look at it long enough and you can see the thorns, play with it long enough and you forget the thorns but one day you will get a cut, and hopefully time heals all wounds but leaves a scar to remember that love cant be taken for granted or fooled around.

So what has happen to me since the 6th of september? Nothing much, just finish spm and getting my license. Big woop -.-

Jump feet first, would you join me? A partner in crime, a lover at heart. I need a new start, kill me and reclaim my soul.

Just leave me be but don't abandon me.

Depression is acceptable, suicide is natural, but love; its phenomenal

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Golden Joy

Gonna Update!

2010-03-01T04:58:00.002+08:00

To those who reads my blog, which i'm sure there isn't, i'm gonna update as soon as i can.

The reason i got this inspiration was anatiazwar.blogspot.com and sudden aspiration to write again.

Tonight, hopefully, my life turns a different course, not to a sudden end but a means to an end. I waste my time regretting the past when i didnt see what was real in front of. The breath knocked out of me by the fist of forgiveness wasn't enough, i realise this bold statement sending a messages to everyone that hasn't forgiven anyone to start when they can.

life passes by faster than realising reality exist

quote; Lucky13

Sincerely,

New Beginnings?

with 8 seconds

2009-09-06T02:50:00.002+08:00

Everyone knows that shes one my mind, im in over my head.
The saying time heals all wounds is true but scars never go away. It stapled straight thru heart.

Admitting my mistake was challenge a few months back but meeting you makes it easier. Only anti-depressants will make it gone. The simplicity overdosing and forgetting makes life easier but you made running away from my problems impossible. I guess what i wrote in my english trials came back to me. The meaning of rain above the cloud always escapes me. I guess its impossible, but whose to read my paper but my teacher and me right. No one else would know how i feel towards the rain above the cloud.

I say, backing down has the same conclusion than fighting back. Mix it up a bit and you can see the light in darkness. Its hopeless, my implications made you just another girl to you but your not.

I write this to express feelings only a lonely and least heartless person would feel. Lonely cause i faced facts, heartless cause i couldn't give you anything special that day in pavi so i gave as a sign to show you how it hurts having one.

Sincerely,
Shield of Eziechiele

Shattered Faith

2009-08-16T00:23:00.002+08:00

Haih, i write this post with emotions running like tears on my face.
Pls don't resent me when your feeling angry :/

I guess being sober for a month just made it easier for me to get high. Like i say ; maybe your faith was strong but you needed proof.

Woah i never to break,
When my heart is meak,
Make sure theres a leak.

Sincerely,
Wishes

Redemtion, Forgiveness, Regretable Moonlight

2009-08-14T23:17:00.001+08:00

:(

2009-08-14T22:20:00.002+08:00

better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all
quote ....

better to have never loved than loosing the most precious thing to your heart
quote me

As i write this post, tears run,

I hope you got what you want man. The only thing that can make things better is by remembering the advice. As my conscious calls the guilty to come home. I don't know why i led myself on by lying. Happiness is a cup, mine can only be filed with the right waitress. I know we weren't official but the feelings felt losing my soul. Just pls remember to smile for me. I do care :'(

All this time,

People keep teaching me to pick myself up. After this, i just wanna be in the small hole where love isn't felt. Now i need to pick myself up and get back to society, maybe i should just forget on whats important in life. Second sounds better, suicide card? What ever it is, i know you don't trust me now. But pls keep my peace of mind as a token of me showing you that it's easy to forget somebody when they have something to remember them by.

Will I not rain on your happiness to bring the light. Will I be there when you fall, cause i'll be there when you crash and burn :'(

Haih,

Remember when i said that you weren't other girls. I mean it. Remember when you taught me how to not take things for granted :/ . I remember. Only you can refresh my memory. Only you can make me remember things. Fuck this shit la. Just remember to smile okay mia :'/

Sincerely,
me3, Lucky 13, shattered pieces

A gun shot to the skull, that just wont hurt

2009-08-07T22:39:00.004+08:00

Explosions in my head that just won't quit,
A train has crashed into the wall around my heart and left the old me dead,
Obliterated

My breathing in the night when you're not there,
The silence ringing through my ears and all I want to do is hear your voice,
But you're not there

Drawn Together,
Painter's brush stroke,
Sleight of hand,
We won't go up in smoke,
Fates colliding,
Love undying

Like the rising tide,
Beating hearts grow but never die,
To simplify,
I'll stand by your side,
Close my eyes,
Hope will never die

And take away the pain of being me
Soothe my soul caress my heart and
end my fear all my bad memories
Eradicated

Like gunshots heard against a silent night
My love is louder than these words
They're stronger than the rest, unstoppable

simple words mean a lot like those 3 small words. Heavens divine unity to claim souls which are pure.

I wish this situation was easier but at least we getting somewhere rite. Like the saying, thy body will heal, but for thy heart, takes steady hands. Chill out okay

Reverse psychology works on the weak minded people. Lucky your the opposite, one lined comments that really hurt but mean a lot. Im gonna save your tired soul, im gonna save your life.

Your falling back to me, the star that i can :)
I know your out there, somewhere out there.

Imagine all the people in the world said thank you and donated a smile to one another? Warfare would be a common joke, politics would be easier and every crimes would disappear or be a bit more appropriate.

The sacrificial benefit to this melodramatic scene is that many hearts will be save, kindness is afloat in the air. Who hopes for a better? Everyone, but unfortunately our egoistic minds let us shy from every opportunity.

Even the purest hate has a silver lining. For which good always triumph over evil. Twisted sheets of sarcasm on the other hand keeps everyone on the toes, begging for an opening display so the calvary would strike with precision and force.

I blaber about meaningless everyday hopes. I just wish a certain person acknowledge this and followed thru without hesitation because with a slight mis-calculation, a pure heart will always be corrupted. A saint's faith can faint into the solid ground. Impact is disastrous.

Has anyone encountered a foul person that is seeking attention with epic proportions? So have i. Its a matter of time till it/something happened. Piece of mind for an apple pie? Peace of heart for a slice? I leave this once again to carry on with my life. Life is not difficult, just look straight thru your problems

Sincerely,
Passions, Dreams, Wishes

Psychotic Melting Pot

2009-07-31T23:23:00.002+08:00

Egoistic losers like the one i encountered today, lucky i'm not your friends. How much would have it cost anyways? :p

Lately its been a tragedy, occurring within locked doors, closed windows and heartless creatures. Just as i think the sun shined once more in this mis-conception of your true complexion. Maybe there is no alternative? Survival of the toughest, only they will slow you down. Maybe i'm speaking in vein or maybe the truth is crystal clear but all i know that decisions can change me and my life within a flash of a blade.

Look at me,
this beast got hurt alrite,
just pain will kill in time.

quote me3 'why do i even bother ;/'

So this is how i began my day, predict the unexpected and carry on my own life. Escape the corporate manager i call my soul, feeding it is what i lack doing these past few YEARS. Grace of god, pls someone listen, i need another to live. Kill me and make damn sure....

Respect the instrument and it will bring you a favor only desired by the hands of prophets. It is not an object you will be able to hold but an object you were born with, possession can bring liquid luck.

Can't you see i'm easily bothered by your resistance, be yourself, by yourself. Boten anna, fuck that ;/ Why am i spinning into a hole that has no end everything i ever wanted is there. (its not mine but the image itself is worth fighting for)

I'm leaving on a jet plane, crashed into a clear plain.
I'm singing you this love song, but still you left with him.
Passions, Dreams, Wishes, fuck that shit. It will bring you false hope and fake images.

Sincerely,
My faded etc.

2009-07-21T21:58:00.004+08:00

You call me your stranger,
You say im a danger,
But all these thoughts are leaving you tonight,
Im broke and abandoned,
You are my angel,
Making all my dreams come true tonight.

Im lost in his blog so whatever crap im saying just ignore it okay? So im Umar's friend. Ive been listening to his problems and i feel so sad when i hear it. Hey,im here aite? Your gonna be okay. I kept reading his blog and all of his words are just so touching and unique don't u think? If you don't think so then you have no ~~expression~~. KIDDING.

Im really lost here so im just gonna leave.

Words to the girl ;
When he looks at you,he can see how beautiful you are.

xx ,A twist in my story

Blade

2009-07-20T23:16:00.001+08:00

If the following learns of the tall tail, i'm sorry.
Man its just not my tournament.
Luck always breaths upon my opponent.
Wonder if its just a single shiny day with you all over again. Now this wound gets deeper with every piercing blow.
Kick me when i'm down, its how you would know that i'm breathing. If i cough blood, if i don.
Now when my heart breaks again, i learn to be what i'm not suppose to be.
Haih. Its not my battlefield. No one stands by me. Your cant be my kenangan terindah. When hearts burst into pieces. Seize today. More importantly sorry that missing in action just makes me feel better.
This is a thousand people stomping on lucky 13 when I, myself is doing it. Beating myself for a better Tmw.
Tmw will come only when today does :/
Now this is my letter to say that P/s i love you is a movie in real terms.
Sincerely,
Memories, cliches, feelings

hammerhead :/

2009-07-19T00:32:00.002+08:00

head on collision,
avoid that hole,
mystery once again.

head on collision,
problems to painful,
avoiding possibility.

dead centre on stage,
cheer me,
now kill me.

quote 'textbook of life'

Haih mental discipline went to zero,
whose gonna call me that hero.

quote 'textbook of life by umar'

it was a number soon to be mistaken for a puff. Thy balloon soon to be blown by a puppet master to once again ruin the natural history. He has a face with the map of the world. Gives him a skin like a dragon.

My name is J.D John Dillinger, battle against the public enemy, such a beautiful lie to believe. Hide behind that empty face. I like Missing in Action a.k.a A.i

Sincerely,
Stained truth

Presured For Happiness

2009-07-12T01:12:00.004+08:00

Love seeketh not itself to please, nor for itself hath any care, but for another gives its ease, and builds a heaven in hell's despair.

start your day with a quote, end it with a kiss ; if possible :/

I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.

its only true when you think it is :/

Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits.

happiness is achieved in awoken dreams, sleepless long nights :/

seek thy truth but never wonder into the business other for it might lead to another lie.

quote mr Umar

this is me, this is my life story, don't seek advice, seek something more truthful and be faithful to your religion.
just like me, happiness stirred with love and foreign religious quote, born a complicated person.
i breath like everyone, but think like no one..

Sincerely,
Passions, Dreams, Wishes

foe or fool, fool for food?

2009-06-28T00:10:00.002+08:00

Jack of all trades, recognized in the black market as a vital tool for reasons that cant be mentioned. Imagine opening a safe while disabling the alarm of international bank? Thats hard work but a professional planner like hmm Danial Ocean got that covered.

I gotta get ready for tmw's big date at tropicana city. Hope we can get tickets :) if not we can always just explore this big place and possibly explore.
Tropicana city sites on a prized land and it maybe will be the next ou or curve. Not high end fashion but just plain shopping experience.

On the bigger note, i learned how to drive a manual car and i think i got the hang of it. Still rusty but hey, its a car, 'im willing to go the distance' quote Hercules.

Im whispering tails of a long history, exceeding the limit of which no one can bare. 'Thy heart shall not be tainted by sinic, it shall be be free with thy saint' quote Umar :)

Revelations state that after a fall of a king, the sun might rise opposite, which means, i'm talking smack. With faith restored, we can all sing for the moment and mourn the lost of the king of pop. He moves like art, 'meet Da vinci, youur my sixteen chapel' quote Alex Hitchens from Hitch.

No lyrics but if integrate each meaning of every paragraph. You'll find a system glitch and that the poet is currently unavailable to recommend a desert menu for your curious taste buds.

As like many authors and their work of art. They'll have a moment in their life when their work isnt up to standard but its how the idea that doesnt come helps the author for his final encore.

Sincerely,
Passions, Dreams, Wishes

Boten Anna

2009-06-27T00:20:00.004+08:00

Today its a tragic day for every corner of the world as we learn that an icon has passed away or maybe just a conspiracy theory for more publicity. We are all realized for our potential after death, we are all appreciated after death.
'Isn't it ironic' quote Alanis Morissette.

Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

this is my favourite ending to a heartbreaking relationship.

Caught a glimpse of that cherry,
smile like the sun with cheerful roses,
that reminded me a sweet cherishing memory,
the moon was pale, the accent of my feelings towards was crystal,
its your smile that reminded me of the sweet cherry and the light of the moon.

quote Umar Hakim. There you go, a poem for you. sofia :)

black tights, black lips, nothing compares to a black hearted person, many reasons why its just a small concern towards the global downfall of sympathy. Its an issue not recognize by government test subjects (put my interpretations into life and problems faced for people)

Heartless, how could you be so Dr. Evil, your bringing a side that i don't know. In the night the moon shines as bright sun with the downfall of temperature rising due to emotional pains by mother earth. Talkin' talkin' talkin' talk...

this is a reply to you sofia :)
The anxiety of getting a comment or post as people call it on the wall-to-wall, is somehow faced by teenagers and young adults. They wanna know how was other peoples day without actually knowing at first.
One day, coming back from school and your expecting a post. Its not there cause the person turns out to be busy during the afternoon, the importance of that means that particular person needs to communicate with a phone. But we know that rite? :) Selamat tinggal dunia ini dan selamat datang dunia itu.

Has anyone realize that our longest bargain is probably life? I havent but its a significant topic for me cause i believe repenting is a religious privilege. Repeat the mistake its a cold day in hell with a cell for you. I cant repent due to loyalty reasons cause repeating is a mistake for me but i am willing to face the cell. Just afraid that i wont see the light of the brighter full moon. (its not emo, just complicated)

I am not alone, your always in my heart.
Just the passion of a person is not measured by his dreams but by his spirit.
The dreams of a blind sighted future can be true without determination from youth.
Wishes are rarely achieved with luck as its constant variable or companion.
The companionship of spirit for a youth is enough to get anything desired.

quote Umar Hakim

Sincerely,
Passions, Dreams, Wishes

tony roma's

2009-06-24T22:20:00.003+08:00

how could you be so heartless?

thats how i started my day, with a twisted a bang, and theory to create a better sensation when it needs to be collapse. It starts with, life is a an egg that breaks and once it breaks, nothing will be the same especially to you anjing :D hahahaha

attention thirsty people are usually seen by making loud noises and wanting people to notice them. Being in every situation and giving useless opinions when not needed, yes thats exactly you :)

In the night,
i hear 'em talk,
the coldest story ever told.

Somewhere far along this road,
He lost his soul,
To woman so heartless!!

quote kanye west. This is poetry at its most honest translation. Listen and read the lyrics, iut might get you somewhere far along a this road i call life :)

Try writing your deepest emotions in verses and then simplify your feelings. Use complicated emotions at little as possible. Blank blink ank.

Life wasted me,
i don see wat it sees in me,
I just wasted life.

quote Mr me3. Current emotion felt by the publisher of his own life experience, friday 13th, and death note. Musically inspired to remedy my future with ingredients that are fatal to tongue. Just as i would wish that the sorrows i felt will end, it did and now thats just ol' me :)

Sincerely,
Passions, Dreams, Wishes

p/s. N don worry bout the current status but only worry bout wat matters to you the most, it'll give you the feeling never felt :)

2009-06-21T21:54:00.002+08:00

Days till the end would seem a bit romantic but with a fragile heel of, your not gonna get far unless your willing to the distance.
sum it up and it'll be your destiny into finding a true experience.

I was up until someone shot me down like a bird flying thru the grassy plain. I wished i had more time, but if only trouble avoided me. Pain is a factor taken into consideration and aching pain of a heart break is gone with the wind.

I am free from my cage and once again i fly with grace, mentality and bravery. The one i called my heart has been embraced with goals not met but bent. This is where i start living my life, with a little help. I'm sure i can it anywhere.

Sincerely,
Passions, Dreams, Wishes

Local allowence

2009-06-14T03:20:00.004+08:00

don't resent me
And when you're feeling empty
Keep me in your memory

I was just as lonely as the night,
the cold was my friend,
now i'm gods lonely man

the smell of the past was to potent,
the taste of the hour was to desirable
my moment in time is just seconds away

lately,
i've been missing my enemy
to give me all i want

i cant, forgive myself from listening
all the pain that i present
and don resent when your feeling angry

I can be who you are
leave it till it ends
just forget my time from now

so if your wondering i still want you to know
i dream i missing in the fields on the moon
i walk with no hands just my life

empty handed and still walking
empty hearted and still breathing
empty headed and still loving you...

This was a repeat of the my life and how it works and just as a small village crumbles, i breathe and find out that heart ache is just another feeling that i need to get used too. Leave out all the rest

Blinded by youth and its mistakes i need to find a new ending to my false beginning :/
but yet again i fall into her trap of lies and promises, i call her life

Sincerely,
Passions, Dreams and Wishes

Station to station

2009-06-14T01:56:00.002+08:00

This whole i have been using lrt to get from one place to another :)
Its the easiest and most reliable mode of transport i've ever known

Lying to a senior con-man is like telling the police your not drunk while your puking shit out. This week was by far the most difficult week cause i had to endure fatigue when i was back home. Setiawangsa wasn't a bad area to began with, met loads of people and met someone too. It was technically a college life, waking up to go for class and you can practically do as you pls after or before class cause parents was miles away.

Freedom city was at places i havent discovered and it was a sanctuary for a the time being, holidays was all that but yet you don have to go to the it places in order to meet someone nice, just be friendly, helpful and your on your way :)

I went to rooftop to shisha with iryan, hanna and aqilah. It was fun cause it was raining and we played the shisha game and the smoker lungs won most of the time. Talk abt stamina eh? So i admit that skipping is bad but having fun and getting is better than anything. Shout out to those clique-81 :) hahahhaha

So i'm just a high school student going thru the same process as every student that wants to get a good education and not be forced to take wat course they don want. Its either Cambridge A-levels, South Australia Matriculation, International Canadian Pre-University, International Baccalarate something something. Its the option of pre-uni but they too have fondations that maman took. So im not really sure.

Anyways its been long since i gave a random quote or two but heres a hint, the sun shines when the sun shines. Lets have a cloud for every weather we have and let it rain for everytime we get drenched :)

Sincerely,
me3