Hero.

No words i can use, to express this loneliness.

quote Lucky13

Now i cant say kicking the habit is easy, cause it isn't. I write this to let everyone know the difficult life of a junkie.

Every time i get excited just looking at Smurf when he heats up the batch and usually i insist on injecting it myself cause then i cant blame him for anything. Smurf is a funny character, born and raised here in the lands. He earned his nickname cause one time, he choked on a meatball and turned blue. He would never turn down a potential customer, he has his moral line tho, don't overdose at his place. His a nice guy to begin with, i would do things just to score with him and get free stock.

I love watching the syringe digging into my skin, pull the stopper mixing blood in the process and finally watch this lovely cocktail rush into me. The fun only starts when i loosen the belt, after that, all hell breaks loose. I was making love to the judge, jury, executioner, dominatrix, victim, homosexual and even myself. Imagine the best orgasm you've ever had, times it by a million and it still wont cut the cheese. I would constantly get orgasms one after another.

I didn't come from a fancy big shot lifestyle with money to burn. I came from a broken home, never met me mum and a perverted dad. I would catch that sick fuck watching me bath. I know i'm the only girl in the family but i think i knew why me mum left. In Her Majesties Land, there aren't many families living in poverty, but the ones who do are not getting any better. We struggle to finish the day and then start all over again in the bloody morning.

I found solitude one night, while partying at this club uptown near the docks. A friend invited me for a special kind of sex, he injected me and i was hooked. I spent my savings for college in just 4 months, it was worth every penny. I sometime ended up in the hospital handcuffed to the bed with Old Bill standing outside writing a report. I was in rehab for couple of times, where i met Smurf. We ran from rehab and now live in a condemned building in the slums of Lancaster. I would go to the main land where i met friends. They would see me either working in a restaurant, or the cleaners where i would steal clothes or even at the clinic to steal some prescription slips and syringe for Smurf.

My figure shouts junkie, my eyes are a constant bloodshot and my hair is falling. But when its the syringe and me, the whole world can get fucked for i care. I am at piece when i see this mixture going in me. The expression is surpass words, incomparable to anything amazing. But all things must come a abrupt end at some point. The after effect is what i would call the Pit from Hell when Smurf asks me what stage am i in. It forces me to reflect on my current predicament, makes me realize that this life is not a long one.

I will one day kick the habit but not anytime soon, maybe when the doctors catches me stealing slips, or when i die. Till the day i'm six feet deep, i shall shoot heroin for it is my hero and my heroin.

Addiction drives itself into an bottomless pit,

Auto-pilot uncompromisingly engaged,

Nothing stands in between me and a hit,

Not even the feeling of being loved.

quote Lucky13

We usually define ourselves as pure as long as the subconscious agrees with it, think about it.

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

AddictsKick.