The Staple

Forgetting what it felt like to kiss and get away with sin, but who am i actually running from? Come and tell me when its time to repent. Degeneration, the fall of our youth or me. Amazing how the world revolves around the things you do, one mistake and the world watches you as it hopes for you to make another mistake, i made a mistake but the world look east and west. So is the mistake i made another different concept?

Okay, so now i have a bong pipe in my mouth and enjoying the smoke that comes out of my nose. I need, i want, i wish for something amazing to happen but i need to embrace what i have before adding more bricks. "Brick by boring brick"- Paramore. Mines not boring but i make everything seems so dull. Like the pen you stab but the sword you hoist high in the air.

What is life worth doing, when life is full of rejection

quote AltasRhythm

And so i continue the next night,

I found a post that never got edited and was left alone. The story wasn't told, its not finsih but hey, we cant finish what we wanted to never end rite. So heres a click and paste of the post, unedited ;)

I followed the ktm track and picked her up at 7-11 with a cab. Amazingly i had the saddest day today. Wish i can convey the story but it just hurts thinking of it. Now i know that the nicest people, never get anything in this heart aching life style. Only a picture can remind me of how i felt for you, how you felt for me. How things became.

The post ends there.

On the other side of the truth, i wear a shield which i wished was bulletproof, people get shoot down, we don't need good headlines, just life lines.

Imagine if you can relive the moment, imagine staring love rite in her eyes, saying;

I live in this fairytale,

Imagination is for real,

Societies underdog,

My future with you is still in fog.

Lucky13;

So rite now, in my life my,

Passions; To write what ever i think of

Dreams; For a happier life, but i'm happy enough for what i have

Wishes; Gamble when the stakes are on my side

Sincerely,

ChipnDale

And Hey Darling

The concept of a perfect life is you being happy and dodging their misfortunes. Notice how i used dodge instead of any other word to dismiss misfortunes. A concept of a perfect life is to accept anything that happens and blend emotion with instinct. What ever happens is another concept

So what if i was separated by a certain tragedy from my other half or mate as people would call it. I would try my best to see it thru and hopefully i'll see her at the end of this dark tunnel.

Only lies help the cheaters

quote lucky13

Okay, so since i updated, i'm still happy with my sort of well being, who can stop my cough but me and still i smoke like a bitch once supply wont run dry. I was came into close contact with a supernatural being when i was at the park. Its one thing to park after midnight but a whole different game once it hits 3am and your foot is still in the park.

Expect the worse and it might come but good will always prevail at the of the war. Doesnt matter what war, problem is; the line between good and bad is blurred constant by constant boosting of fellow parties. So who the fuck am i suppose to follow? The one who promises 3 square meals or the one that offers freedom with the cost of blood shed, if you can wait till i get home.

I noticed that robots and humans are practically the same, they can be controlled by a remote device. A robot with a brain and emotion can be influenced to subconsciously do evil indirectly to the those who don't deserve it. We do it but at a certain someone who we shunt cause of difference, i may say bad things but its cause its funny and hopefully no one gets hurt. Am i programmed?

Okay okay, my driving license is hopefully in my pocket by the 12th of April, cause i cant wait to get that freedom. I choose freedom, and it does come with blood shed, bare with it and make sure my will for survival or existence is strong. I may be smiling outside, screaming in the inside but i know we all plan for a certain chain of events to happen to better ourselves in the present of hopefully in the future.

I know that eventually love with fall into the business category, loving will turn into a job and that ruins the fun of expression. Tell me how does a moment of sincerity work? Is love sincere? I ask this question, when i get a certain someone, i say another load of shit but i guess thats how love starts. Everything else seems to exist, you and her are living the concept of the perfect life, i guess thats where it goes down the drain.

I have no special request but only think of a loved one, keep him/her close to your heart and settle your differences now before you follow the concept of a perfect life.

Blink once and possibly miss an important moment that could alter your life

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Black eye

Apple.

An apple a day keeps the doctor, a stick a day keeps reminding me that life is temporary.

I'm not a bad person but the cycle of karma makes me feel that bad things only happens to bad people.

If i were to shout at the top of my lungs, its just a boy crying wolf, not world rite. Why am i constantly ignored? I guess its karma, change is good.

Portraits of familiar faces keeps me safe, one glance and their there even tho the distance is uncountable. I wish there was a portrait of me, somewhere, it doesn't matter, its not the location but the company.

Okay, life story, gonna camp with my thinking cap. Gonna be a lot of changes to my current but we evolve and learn that evolution, or for me college, is just another phase in life. A chapter maybe that has to be opened.

I heard a story earlier abt a certain someone and their loved one, he didnt hear the words he wanted to hear, but no matter what he would love her and he said; "I'm ready to leave this country". He boarded a plane few hours later to further his studies. Dude, its loves challenge, when you come back, and she waiting, things would never be same

Your current favourite song; I would never be the same, if we ever meet again

Cheer up, go fishing ;)

Have you ever had that feeling of envy and happiness at the same time? You see all your friends, they have a loved one but your happy for them and you wait for your turn. My turn might come late but i'm sure its gonna be magical. "you never plan for anything magical, it just happens" quote Valentines Day.

Okay okay, so rite now, i'm not depressed anymore, which is good rite? I flood the tweet deck or spam as people would say. I feel happier inside, i don't smoke as much as i used to. A smile is in my head even tho i don't show it.

I leave scars on my hands so i wont forget who i was, what i was going thru in my life, when life shunts you, keep a reminder for yourself. I'm not emo, screw that -.- i'm just very sentimental.

Its 5am now; cause day and night, the lonely stoner seems to free his mind at night.

Love a person for who they are and not what you want to love about them, their imperfections are what makes them who they are. We were raised to be perfect but soon along the way, we can never be, not even with the right will. So love is about opening your expectations to newer things and accepting their so called defects.

So at this point of life my;

Passions are to open my mind to newer things/willing to learn

Dreams are to better myself

Wish i can get there no matter how high the wall is

Sincerely,

Plum, grape, Mint

Sims 2

Its amazing how Sims can be change to Sins. But their game is some sort of get away for all those who wants to restart their life rite? Thats madness to magnet for me. The force of attraction and hope for a new life.

Hears a sound track from their game

Pressure-Paramore

Tell me where our time went
And if it was time well spent
Just dont let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again

Cause I fear I might break
And I fear I cant take it
Some night I'll lie awake
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Now that I'm losing hope
And theres nothing else to show
For all of the days that were spent
carrying away from hope

Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Without you

Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
Somethings I'll never know
And I had to let them go
But I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
its getting closer now
We're better off without you

Feel the pressure
its getting closer now
You're better off without me

Pressure-Paramore

So what is the games message here?

Whats my mind fiddling with nowaday ah?

Sincerely,

Silencer

Free!

I i had a song, i wish it can be covered acoustic-ly. Cause every acoustic song makes it sound more emotional but nicer from the original one.

The same goes for me, but i was the acoustic version. Finally for one night i feel no depression. Its amazing cause i'm sick at the same time and i didnt smoke a lot. ba da ba ba da da ba da......

Day and night!

So what if time is temporary

quote lucky13

To decide the fate of someone is monu-mental but its easier to decide your own, so why the fuck are you clouding me life la bastard. I fear i might break

So whats new other than the sudden release of depression from my life, i'm gonna do my LCCI, where you ask. My mum's college, she doesnt fucking own it, chill, shes a lecturer there so yeah. LCCI is like A-levels for accounting. Hopefully i can further somewhere good after this.

Okay music session; Now i'm currently listening to "Here we go again- Paramore" and waiting for Fever by BFMV

How do i control this sudden mood swing?

Keep tabs of reason

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

New found glory

What?

 Well go get your shovel
   And we'll dig a deep hole
   To bury the castle, bury the castle
   Go get your shovel
   And we'll dig a deep hole
   To bury the castle, bury the castle

What can life offer a man that can't get anything?

I wish i was in a fantasy, i don't care wheter its for a second. As long as i can live a better life.

Hahahah, even i laugh at my misfortunes cause only i acknowledge them. I'm not mad at myself, but at least i see the light at the end of this tragic tunnel.

What if my subconscious dies when i find something better than air?

Then pictures aren't just pictures, their an expression of that bittersweet moment.

I'm sure the realisation of my existence is tragic. I'm not mad but your reputation( cause thats the only thing that people look upon) dies with you so make an impression.

So let me give you an update on my life as this moment i reflect upon myself

Passions; The colourful flavours of smoke in my lungs

Dreams; For a better tmw by which it may never come

Wishes; For another shot

aimbot

Why is life worth living?

What the fuck are we suppose to do?

Ask those questions, weight your happy moments and your depressing moments.

We get disappointed every turn you make, in any form.

Accomplishments aren't enough for those who aim high enough until they reach the point of realising that what are the accomplishments worth. Fuck. Imagine if something could trouble you, then something even worse comes along. And when you search for that something that you think can make you happy, its gone.

Am i suppose to leave a mark on this world?

For what?

Whats it good for?

People will only realise you once your dead. When is this gonna end?

Sincerely,

Just-ice

Lie to My faCe

Conclusion that i make towards my life, its kinda odd that i'm doing this at the age of 17. Once you lost something precious than air; you start thinking what else can happen that can ruin your life rite? Something as captivating as a free smile from a stranger doesn't amuse me one bit.

Love hurts, its worst when you lost a loved one

quote lucky13

I'll be better when i'm older,

I'll be the greatest fan of your life.

Strong words.

I wish you can see me now, a bit more matured to make rational decisions. I'm sure sympathy is the first word that strikes when I cry. I don't want sympathy, make a matured decisions and let me see the strands in your eyes. I'm sure you'll tear up, if i can make your cry, there are feelings in your heart for me, but i cant force them out kan.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today

quote Chrity- Hurt

It hurts more than you can take a knife and stab me

Now that tears run down almost every night, regretting the out come. I cant careless. Selfless attributes are my Achilles heel. You used that against me, you said: "Umar, its best for me and you if we went separates ways. I'm sure if we were meant to be, we would meet again. Ok?" *few months later* "Umar, meet my bf"

I saw the cruel intention but i ignored my bitter thoughts. I said to myself that the night is darkest before dawn.

Love is just false fairy-tale, stop living in it, fuck the real world too

quote lucky13

The only lucky people is too die a sane man with a loved one. Those are the lucky bunch, probably the Holocaust victims.

I just wished something better would happen to me within this time of mourning, something exciting; like sharing a great memory with a random person, getting to know them maybe. I hate it when i asked but theres not answer, when i wonder but theres not an answer, no response to a simple suggestions.

So rite now in my life;

Passions; Cant say living cause i wake up just to smoke and kill myself faster.

Dreams; For a better and not bitter tmw.

Wishes; To meet someone even more special than the last one.

Rejection is a bitch, but life throws rejections rite at me; conclusion? lifes a bitch!

Sincerely,

FML

Rmmbr Th Lv

Give everything up for you, but everything apparently wasn't enough

quote lucky13

Youth is being offered all sorts of activities, bad and good. Its up to you to follow the bad or the good or both.

Now that statement is just a simple problem faced by every teen. What can you do to distance yourself from this? Nothing, its just keeps coming.

I need adrenaline to keep out of bed or just some activity good or bad. I have no motivation to get my ass out of bed. Have i lost the hope to live or just barely living?.

Moments like this, like; lonely at home, it can be dangerous cause a curious mind can think what would happen if that day happened in a different way.

Ghetto rock anyone? I was watching Glee just now, marathon, it was kinda interesting with the constant confusion that they have, but then again the actors seem a bit too old for high school.

Maybe its just a way that the conspirators make we the youth curious of teen pregnancy, drugs and violence.

Rite now, at this time of my life, i'm listening to Taking Back My Love-Enrique Glasses. I gave it all up.

Now how does that quote relate to my life, it says everything.

Just look back and you might find the feelings i gave you

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

What ifs?

Wilkes

The sensation in my heart that you gave was a sense of security and happiness. I'm safe when i'm on your shoulder either crying, sleeping or even crying. I speak only truth to you but you told me lies, but when i asked you why, you said a sense of horror hit me, is this my violent movie where the main character dies and its a sad ending.

You can't change the pass but you can make up for it. I made the effort, i loved a panther and got bitten most of the time, but i know when your serious, the feeling of pain is still there, but not from the times i got into trouble but the times you shunted me. I write for you my dear, i think every word at a time, and its still not enough.

Quote BLG; Your always be my thunder. I cried you a river and all i got was the sudden realisation that even my confessions isn't enough to get you back. I would say that i would have to move on, but its too long since i said that and now i'm writing for you.

I wish you knew how much pain you can inflict cause rite now, i wouldn't do that to my lover but i would do it if it means i'm showing how much i love you. Confusion riddles my mind. I was hit and ran over.

Sincerely,

Bummer

Sktr By

Amazing how a string of unusual events can make up to form a life experience.

Caring for others more than yourself is forgetting yourself, soon enough people will forget you no matter what the impression you made.

quote lucky13

I wish i could love again, i was stoned from the love you gave me.

I was captivated by the romance you gave me, i wish it could happen again.

I don't know myself when i'm a loner but when i'm in love, i'm fullest.

I never knew i lost it all, and now i'm a free man with nothing to lose.

I wanna say that if you watch a movie induced is awesome, but 3d is a whole new chapter.

Rite now i'm listening to My Happy Ending- Avril L. Amazing how everytime i blog, an amazing unusual turn of events can make up the moment to unravel an inspiration.

Learn to take care of yourself before loving, but go wild when your in love.

quote lucky13

Black and white too

Something came across me like a forest fire, i acknowledge those who has long distance relationships.

I see that even distance and a physical relationship doesn't matter to them, i know it can get boring but people evolve and we create ideas everytime, so let them make the best of it and see happiness built from a distance.

I just wish that i had a relationship far more than just physical but emotional and full of passion. Hey i'm not blogging bout me here now am i, so start the slow jams and see what happens to those with long distance.

Sincerely,

Seems to be

beat the beatles

From where i can stand, i can still see that smile in my mind; even tho its gone

quote lucky13

So what can be said bout today? I was an escort for a lovely friend. I was in Bangsar to alter jeans.

What did i see that people tend to forget, its hot in the summer, but summer doesn't last long. Love can be said the same, when things heat up, cool down and chill out.

In this second of the universe, i'm listening to Christina Aguilera- Hurt. Ask me why and i'll say its just what expresses me.

Kill the dream and you kill more than one soul, torture the soul and karma will attract D-Day to you.

I've been texting a fox but if i didnt reply you, its cause it ran out of battery and its charging up stairs. Shooting Star

Vent frustration thru a positive picture, portrait.

When in need of money, save, when in need of friends, call, when in need to scandal, call, when in of a true love, patience.

Last words from a wise person, they won't fall on deaf ears, but pls acknowledge them cause thats still knowledge.

You making me insane,

I tear my heart open; just to feel

Scars- Papa Roach

Scars don't vanish but with product, it does, same with depression.

Ahh yes, on last issue that i can't take care but i can blog, freedom of speech :)

Issue; When i try to be friendly, its not a direct intention to go out on a date. Friends are taken for granted every second of the universe, so what if i might be the next forgotten friend, i just wish to help, owh well, its my lost cause i want knowledge of life experience but theirs for wasting my hand.

Lets not fight, discuss this matter, lets make love, thats better

quote lucky13

Sincerely,

Best Wishes

Spdrmn

Life you gives you lemons, i make lemonade, i discover my heart thru love and it gets broken

quote lucky13

So what if i don't fly as high as i use too, i keep below the radar better.

Give piece a chance and hopefully you increase you chances of finding piece. Such a play of words, but it works

I'm not a super hero, but i can make you safe at times when i'm not there.

Love is a rose, look at it long enough and you can see the thorns, play with it long enough and you forget the thorns but one day you will get a cut, and hopefully time heals all wounds but leaves a scar to remember that love cant be taken for granted or fooled around.

So what has happen to me since the 6th of september? Nothing much, just finish spm and getting my license. Big woop -.-

Jump feet first, would you join me? A partner in crime, a lover at heart. I need a new start, kill me and reclaim my soul.

Just leave me be but don't abandon me.

Depression is acceptable, suicide is natural, but love; its phenomenal

quote Lucky13

Sincerely,

Golden Joy

Gonna Update!

To those who reads my blog, which i'm sure there isn't, i'm gonna update as soon as i can.

The reason i got this inspiration was anatiazwar.blogspot.com and sudden aspiration to write again.

Tonight, hopefully, my life turns a different course, not to a sudden end but a means to an end. I waste my time regretting the past when i didnt see what was real in front of. The breath knocked out of me by the fist of forgiveness wasn't enough, i realise this bold statement sending a messages to everyone that hasn't forgiven anyone to start when they can.

life passes by faster than realising reality exist

quote; Lucky13

Sincerely,

New Beginnings?